Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

real-men

WELCOME to Wednesday, December 24, 2014.    

Funny Misspelled Words…….. 
While working for a security firm, Dennis Spradling was given written orders stating, “You are not allowed to except any bribes.” [accept]
Floods from the Mississippi may be prevented by putting big dames in the river. [dams]
Grace Varney’s voice broke with emotion as she clutched her toe-headed daughter as her son clung to her side. [tow-headed]
Full coarse meals. [course]
Every morning my father takes exercises to strengthen his abominable muscles. [abdominal]
During peek season the beach is covered with hundreds of bikini-clad beauties. [peak]
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. [pistil]
Many people believe he was a Satin worshipper. [Satan]
In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal. [steel]
Carats, two for 39 cents. [carrots]
My uncle suffers from sick as hell anemia. [sickle-cell]
They gave William IV a lovely funeral. It took six men to carry the beer. [bier]
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and   

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store.

Dr. Seuss

 

The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.

Alice Cooper

Every gift which is given, even though is be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection.

Pindar

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

 

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. – Charles Dudley 

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

Charles Dickens

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Back during the days of the former Soviet Union, a fellow by the name of Gerald Chattington had a friend in the Soviet Embassy by the name of Rudolph Nosov, who would drop by occasionally. One evening, Gerald and his wife, Peg, were sitting in the kitchen chatting when Gerald looked out the window and said, “Look, it’s snowing.” Rudolph looked out and said very quickly, “No, I think it is just rain.” “I’m sure it is snow,” insisted Gerald. “And I am just as sure that it is rain,” said Rudolph. At this point Gerald turned to Peg to settle the argument. Peg looked out the window for a moment, then said, “What can I say? Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear.” 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘First there was darkness.’ 

 

Answer: Dark City! ‘And then came The Strangers,’ as said by Dr. Schreber (Kiefer Sutherland) during the opening voice over of ‘Dark City.’ 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  ‘Once upon a time there was a lovely princess, but she had an enchantment on her of a fearful sort.’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Ryan and Craig were identical twins born in Seattle in 1961. Ryan was born before Craig, but according to their birth certificates, Craig was older than Ryan. How come? 

 

Answer: Ryan and Craig were born in the fall on the day that the clocks are set back one hour. Ryan was born at 1:45am. Craig was born 30 minutes later. Since the clocks were set back at 2am, Craig’s official time of birth was 1:15am. 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

What do these groups of words have in common?

1. Man true, hairy

2. Son nick, yard rich

3. Son will, row wood

4. Grant, us list you

5. More fill, lard mill

6. Ding hard, wren war

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

       

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s