Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, December 9, 2014.  

 Underwear is important… 

On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis(from Northwest Florida Daily News – 15 May 2006)

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. 

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and   

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a gas station. They’re being charged with attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC.” -Conan O’Brien

“The birthrate in the United States is at an all-time low. Whereas our death rate is still holding strong at 100 percent.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A brother and sister in Minneapolis are opening the world’s first vegan butcher shop. At the vegan butcher, they promise to kill all the flavor but in a humane way.” -Jimmy Fallon 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My brother Scott brought over a photo album of his camping trip. One picture showed a brown bear helping itself to his food. “What kind of bear is that?” I asked.

“It’s called a Kodiak,” Scott replied.

“Oh, yeah?” my husband Keith shot back. “And I suppose those white ones in the Arctic are called Polaroids. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Life’s not fair is it?’

 

Answer: The Lion King! This is the first line (after the big opening musical number, of course) said by Scar to a small mouse he’s caught and is preparing to eat. 

 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  ‘Did you hear that?’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

It’s time to get back at the Queen of Hearts by beheading words that start with “Qu”. In this case, you remove the first TWO letters and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: British pound -> Part of the psyche

Answer: The words are Quid and Id.

1. Stop doing -> That thing

2. Peculiar behavior-> Annoy

3. Subatomic particle -> Large boat

4. Unit of liquid measure -> Product of creativity

5. Small game bird -> To be unwell

6. Large feather; pen -> Unwell; faulty

7. Nausea; uncomfortable -> Simple

8. Misgivings; scruples -> Donations to the poor 

 

Answer:  1. Quit -> It  2. Quirk -> Irk  3. Quark -> Ark  4. Quart -> Art 5. Quail -> Ail

6. Quill -> Ill  7. Queasy -> Easy  8. Qualms -> Alms

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Given below are five pairs of words. Each pair sounds similar, but have different meanings (they are homonyms). Can you find them?

Lift high – Bring down, destroy

Plant with ears – Labyrinth

Burial/Cremation formalities – Uses a pen and paper and forms legible words

To communicate with God – Carnivore’s target

Watery part of milk that separates when milk turns to curds – The route or the course traveled from one place to another

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

     

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