Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, December 8, 2014.  

Lesser Known Murphy’s Laws…….

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and   

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“We finally got some rain here in Los Angeles. It’s been a tough week for Los Angeles parents because they had to explain to their children what that stuff coming from the sky is.” -Conan O’Brien

“A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling ‘Ready for Hillary’ champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it’s drinking mixed with politics.” -Jimmy Fallon

“There was a lot of senseless violence on Black Friday. In Norwalk, sheriff’s deputies had to go to Walmart after two adult women started fighting over a Barbie doll. They do say it’s important not to lose touch with your inner child.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

“Do you remember first meeting your wife?” 

“Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.” 

“Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her.” 

“Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling.”  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘How you doing Keaton?’

Answer: The Usual Suspects! The mysterious Keyser Soze got the first line of this wonderful movie. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this

quote from??? ‘Life’s not fair is it?’

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

I had a lot of fun putting together the following list of words. Can you figure out the rule I used to develop the list? Once you do, have fun creating your own list!

mount, right, left, roll, mote, lick,

lass, over, rate, aunt, rill, arch,

oral, ever, pine, rice, tip, each,

team, rash, sage, ouch, edge, ray,

earn, any 

 

Answer: Each 3 to 5 letter word, when preceded by sequential letters of the alphabet, will form new words:

amount, bright, cleft, droll, emote, flick,

glass, hover, irate, jaunt, krill, larch,

moral, never, opine, price, q-tip, reach,

steam, trash, usage, vouch, wedge, x-ray,

yearn, zany  

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

It’s time to get back at the Queen of Hearts by beheading words that start with “Qu”. In this case, you remove the first TWO letters and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: British pound -> Part of the psyche

Answer: The words are Quid and Id.

1. Stop doing -> That thing

2. Peculiar behaviour -> Annoy

3. Subatomic particle -> Large boat

4. Unit of liquid measure -> Product of creativity

5. Small game bird -> To be unwell

6. Large feather; pen -> Unwell; faulty

7. Nausea; uncomfortable -> Simple

8. Misgivings; scruples -> Donations to the poor

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

     

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