Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏

main-qimg-946b745c55bbbd69c03f0e3b415c16aa

WELCOME to Friday, December 5, 2014.   

Murphy’s Law in action……

Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the rest room.

Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Guy’s Variation Rider – If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.

Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Decree of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.

Murphy’s Office Law – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn’t work.

Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Edict – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

The Conundrum of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Rule of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.  

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

Club Fitness Law – If there are 10 exercise machines lined up in a row and no matter which one you get on, people will always get on the machine next to you first!   

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and   

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A brewery in Oregon is coming out with a new Sriracha-flavored beer. That’s right, beer that tastes like hot sauce. They said it’s the perfect beverage for finding out if you’re an alcoholic: ‘There’s only one beer left and it has hot sauce in it – just give it to me!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Last week was Cyber Monday, the biggest day of the year for online shopping. It was started by a bunch of nerds who were beat up on Black Friday: ‘I’m not doing that again.’ Ah, the safety of home.” -Conan O’Brien

“They say that on Thanksgiving, Americans consume more than twice their average daily calories. It implies we should eat less – or just eat a lot more the rest of the year and it wouldn’t be twice as many!” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science of aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn’t qualified because of my poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same thrills.  I’m always pushing the envelope!

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “I’m a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum!”  

 

Answer: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the “I” of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. 

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  ‘How you doing Keaton?’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Find the names of ten fish by adding one of the given letters to each word and rearranging the letters. Each letter will be used only once.

A A E H L N N P T T

1. Nut + ? =

2. Tour + ? =

3. Prickle + ? =

4. Floured + ? =

5. Mason + ? =

6. Ringer + ? =

7. Papers + ? =

8. Gyro + ? =

9. Apron + ? =

10. Pompon + ? =

 

Answer:  1. Tuna  2. Trout   3. Pickerel  4. Flounder  5. Salmon  6. Herring  7. Snapper

8. Porgy  9. Tarpon  10. Pompano

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

I had a lot of fun putting together the following list of words. Can you figure out the rule I used to develop the list? Once you do, have fun creating your own list!

mount, right, left, roll, mote, lick,

lass, over, rate, aunt, rill, arch,

oral, ever, pine, rice, tip, each,

team, rash, sage, ouch, edge, ray,

earn, any

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

     

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s