Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, December 1, 2014.  

Ten Funny Things About Marriage…

The woman always makes the rules

These rules are subject to change without notice

No man can possibly know all the rules

The woman is never wrong

If it appears the woman is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the man did or said

The man must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding

The woman can change her mind at any time

The man must never change his mind without the proper consent of the woman

The man must read the mind of the woman at all times

At all times, what is important is what the woman meant, not what she said. 

 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people and a great thanksgiving, also  

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The holidays are just wonderful. Here’s what I thought was sad, though, the line for the mall Santa? Out the door and around the block. The mall rabbi? Nothing.” -David Letterman

“Today in New York, a schoolteacher celebrated her 100th birthday. All of her students hid in the classroom and surprised her with a big party. They were hiding and they shouted, ‘Surprise!’ May she rest in peace.” -Craig Ferguson

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?” 

“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.” 

“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?” 

“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.” 

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. 

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   “I think what we’ve got on our hands…is a dead shark.”

 

Answer: Annie Hall! Woody Allen to Diane Keaton on the state of their relationship. Allen won the Best Director Oscar in 1978 for this comic masterpiece, but did not attend the ceremony. He eventually showed up in 2002 to introduce a ‘New York films’ tribute, honoring the tragic events of September 11th the previous year. 

 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  “Look in your heart!”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

What does this Rebus represent?

Cockroach

Ant

Worms

Rabbit 

 

Answer: Bugs Bunny

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

My first three letters are a term in golf,

While my second, third, and fourth are drawings.

My first four are less than a whole,

And all of me is a celebration.

What am I?

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

    

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