Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, November 24, 2014.  

Illogical, Yet Funny English Language………

The market garden was designed to produce produce.  

The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.

The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.

Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Chloe was too close to the door to close it.

When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.

How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?

Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.

In terms of weight lead is in the lead.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.  Funny English Language

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why do our noses run but our feet smell?

I did not object to the object.

Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.

Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital? 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and  

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Our inventions mirror our secret wishes.

Lawrence Durrell

 

Any time not spent on love is wasted.

Torquato Tasso

 

Every painting is a voyage into a sacred harbor.

Giotto di Bondone

 

That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees.

Marcus Aurelius

 

How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.

Emo Philips

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

At the final dinner of an international conference, an American delegate turned to the Chinese delegate sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, ‘Likee soupee?’

The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly.

A little later, it was ‘Likee fishee?’ and ‘Likee meatee?’ and ‘Likee fruitee?’ and always the response was an affable nod.

At the end of the dinner the chairman of the conference introduced the guest speaker of the evening: none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of his American neighbour.

When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbour and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, ‘Likee speechee?’ 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “Well this is not a boat accident! It wasn’t any propeller, it wasn’t any coral reef, and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper!”

 

Answer: Jaws! 1975. Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) says this quote to Sheriff Brody after examining the remains of the body found on shore. The end of this quote is “It was a shark!” This movie is a lot like “Rocky” in the sense that they are terrific movies that are probably underrated today because of the many sequels, most of them very bad, that followed each of them. 

 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “Get out of my way, son. You’re using my oxygen.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

What is unusual about this following long sentence?

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen sinned.

 

Answer: It is one long palindrome!

A palindrome is something that can be read the same backwards and forwards. 

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

Take away my first letter and I am a store.

Take away the second and people who look at me adore.

Put all my letters back and read me in reverse if you are able.

I am now cars suspended from an overhead cable.

Take a letter away and I become male sheep.

Did you get it, or did the letters you try to keep?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

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