Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, November 7, 2014.   

Advice!

Here are a dozen or so useful pieces of advice designed to put you in a reflective mood.  

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.  

As I’ve Matured… I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do 

is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others — they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.  

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, which keeps coming back.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Finally, I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy it! 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a good weekend people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Friends are far more dangerous than enemies, they know everything about you and 

will not pause to use it against you. Terra Castle

Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.

Sir William Osler

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Sir Francis Bacon

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. 

Eric offer

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

Abraham Lincoln 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Ian arrived at a very popular restaurant and he was dismayed to find it very crowded. Approaching the hostess Ian asked, ‘Will it be long?’  The hostess, seemingly ignoring Ian continued writing in her reservations book.  Thinking she had possibly not heard him the first time, Ian decided to ask again. ‘How much time is the wait for a table?’  Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said, ‘Oh, only about ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready.’  A short time later, Ian heard an announcement over the intercom system, ‘Willette B. Long……… Willette B. Long, your table is ready.’ 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  “Okay, this hanky is very nearly clean. I’m going to dab you. You may blow.”

 

Answer: Two Weeks Notice! Lucy Kelson (played by Sandra Bullock) is attorney to the very wealthy, very powerful businessman George Wade (Hugh Grant). He treats her more like a nanny than an attorney, which is more then Lucy can handle, and she gives her two weeks notice. This quote is said by George during the divorce hearing with his wife. His wife gets angry and throws water in Lucy’s face. 

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “Oh, I forgot. You were sick the day they taught law in law school.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

At a + shaped intersection, four different-colored houses are at the four corners of the intersection so that each house is separated by a road. All you know about the colors of the houses is:

1. The blue house is directly north of the purple house.

2. The orange house is directly west of the green house.

What colors are the two houses that are across the road from the green house? 

 

Answer: Purple and blue.  It is impossible for north to align with the roads, but if north is across the diagonal then it works out. If north went in the direction from the bottom left to the top right of the + intersection, then the blue house would be in the top right corner, the orange in the top left, the purple in the bottom left, and green in the bottom right.

 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

What animal completes this series?

fly, spider, bird, cat, dog, goat, cow, ? 

  

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

  
 

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