Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

 

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WELCOME to Thursday, November 7, 2014.   

Thoughts for the Day…………..

Who tastes dog food when it has a ‘new & improved’ flavor?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can 

be delighted and musicians denoted? 

How about deranged cowboys, debarked tree surgeons, and depressed dry cleaners?

If you ate pasta and then antipasti, would you still be as hungry as when you started?

The things that come to those who wait maybe the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost, and blamed it on the cost of living.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and overtake them.

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Do you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of

Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. 

They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that one in five enjoys it?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The men’s division was won by a Kenyan. Meanwhile, in Kenya, a pie-eating competition was won by an American.” -Dave Letterman

“Last night daredevil Nik Wallenda walked blindfolded between two Chicago skyscrapers. The Discovery Channel used a 10-second delay so producers would have time to cut away if anything went wrong – thereby depriving viewers of the reason they were tuning in.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Kellogg’s has reported a 31 percent drop in profits this quarter after sales of breakfast foods and snacks fell in the U.S. When asked how he’s doing, Tony the Tiger replied, ‘Not great.'” -Seth Meyers  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Checking the menu, Barry, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, ‘It’s all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked.’

The waitress said, ‘You ordered vegetable soup, didn’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Barry replied grimacing

‘Well, maybe it has a leek in it!’, interjected the waitress. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “Fish…Pony…Hip…Hiphop…Hiphopanonymous!?!”

 

Answer: Big Daddy! “Big Daddy” stars Adam Sandler as a lazy slacker who becomes the unlikely foster father of his friend’s son. This quote is said in the scene where Sonny is trying to teach Julian how to read. He is also teaching Nazo, the delivery guy, but his words are harder. 

 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “Okay, this hanky is very nearly clean. I’m going to dab you. You may blow.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Inks – Tiles

2. Ride – Relive

3. Gaze – Freed

4. Snail – Pike

5. Snag – Cold 

 

Answer: 1. Links – Ties  2. Rid – Relieve  3. Graze – Feed  4. Nail – Spike  5. Nag – Scold

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

At a + shaped intersection, four different-colored houses are at the four corners of the intersection so that each house is separated by a road. All you know about the colors of the houses is:

1. The blue house is directly north of the purple house.

2. The orange house is directly west of the green house.

What colours are the two houses that are across the road from the green house?

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPERSOLVING BANKS! Emoji

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

  

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