WELCOME to Friday, October 24, 2014.
- A stripper’s dressing room
- Click the start button, and shut down
- First strike defence
- Former President-for-life (Haiti)
- Alone in a crowd
- Xenophobic Foreign Secretary (Xenophobic = hates strangers)
- Personalized form letter
- I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
- Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else!
- An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
- Freezer burn, caused by liquid gas, created an anxious patient
- Open secret – clearly confused
- Found missing – minor crisis averted
- Tight slacks – Pretty ugly
- We climbed down into a blocked drain
- Soft rock, as shown on educational television
- Monopoly (Mono Poly?) And why is there only one monopolies commission?
- Head butt
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key. Unknown.
I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem. – Ashleigh Brilliant
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. – Jerome K. Jerome
Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been erected to a critic. – Jean Sibelius
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver. – William James
If you dig a hole for someone else, you’ll fall into it. – Hungarian proverb
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Geoff had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that for years he called his wife, Anita, “Mother of Six,” in spite of her regular objections. One evening, in their retirement years, they go to a party. It is late and Geoff is ready to go home and wants to find out if Anita is ready to leave as well. Geoff bellows at the top of his voice, ‘Shall we go home, Mother of Six?’ Anita, greatly irritated by Geoff’s lack of discretion over so many years, yells back at him, ‘Anytime you’re ready, “Father of Four”.’
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You wanna fight, then you fight me you ugly, smelly-breath suka.” “Or
how ’bout you? String bean, Rick James-lookin’ fool?”
Answer: Berry Gordy’s: The Last Dragon! Spoken by Glen Eaton in his only big performance. When the man being spoken to, character name Sho-nuff (Julius Carry) enters the dojo to pick a fight with the sensei (Taimak), Eaton draws the aggression his way.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.
Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?
Answer: 3 feet
Your focal length in a mirror is your distance away from the mirror, plus the distance of the object away from the mirror. When you look at an object in a mirror, you are seeing a virtual image the exact distance it is away from the mirror. So, if you are standing 3 feet away from a mirror, and focus on your face, you are actually focusing at 6 feet.
To try this out, put a piece of tape on a mirror, about eye level. Standing in front of the mirror, focus your eyes on the tape, now your face is out of focus. Focus now on your face, and the tape is out of focus.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. Pleasant -> Frozen water
2. More recent -> Pitcher for water
3. Noble gas -> Indefinitely long period of time
4. Almost -> Ahead of time; at the beginning of a period of time
5. Not at any time -> At any time
6. None of two choices -> One of two choices
7. Limited width or scope -> Projectile shot from a bow
8. One, for example -> Brown, earthy colour
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org.