Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 23, 2014. 

Funny Thoughts for the Day

  • Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.  
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a ‘Broker’?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse flavored cat food?
  • Why do they call the airport ‘the terminal’ if flying is so safe?
  • I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. – Ancient Persian Saying
  • If people from Poland are called ‘Poles’, why aren’t people from Holland called ‘Holes?’
  • You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
  • Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  • Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone  Funny Thought of the Day
  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
  • Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be.  
  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Men who seek happiness are like drunkards who can never find their house but are sure that they have one. – Voltaire

The brain is a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. – Robert Frost

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. – Salvador Dali

How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese? – Charles De Gaulle

One camel does not make fun of another camel’s hump. Ghanaian Proverb

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane. – June Henderson

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. – Carl Sandburg  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.Jungle talk - Funny story

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance.

The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength … None in the forest dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.

As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all … hawk, lion and stinker.  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  “Arugula, I haven’t had Arugula in six weeks.”

 

Answer: My Blue Heaven! As Steve Martin exits the supermarket he is asked by the store manager if there was anything that he wanted that the store didn’t have. The manager asks him what arugula is, to which he replies, “It’s a vegetable.” Luckily they didn’t ask him about the hundreds of pounds of beef he just bought for less than $20.  

 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???   “You wanna fight, then you fight me you ugly, smelly-breath suka.” “Or how ’bout you? String bean, Rick James-lookin’ fool?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you decipher this phrase?

T _ _ E

 

Answer: I’m out of time. I M are out of T I M E. The hint refers to what the white rabbit said in Alice in Wonderland. 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

 

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