Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, October 13, 2014. 

I have decided that old age is a gift…

Story old age jokes

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body – the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 am, and sleep until noon?  I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love.. I will I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old!

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten, and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. Old Age is a Gift

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say ‘no’, and mean it. I can say ‘yes’, and mean it

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.  Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A man in Scotland spent 18 months panning for gold to make into a wedding ring for his bride-to-be. That’s lovely. But he’s not doing anything to dispel the stereotype that Scottish people are stingy.” -Craig Ferguson

“Facebook is reportedly thinking of ways to incorporate health into their array of services. Here’s how it’ll work: If you get a cut or a bruise or something, take a picture of it and post it. If it gets more than 100 likes, you’re cured. ” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study estimates that only 3.4 percent of Americans will vote in the midterm elections next month. But on the bright side, 100 percent will still complain about the results.” -Jimmy Fallon 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a driver’s manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her drivers permit. 

“Oh, she said, “I already know everything in the book.” 

“You do?” I returned. 

“Yep,” she said, very smugly. 

I thought, “OK, I’ll give her a hard one.” So I asked her, “How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?” 

“One,” she replied. 

“What?” I asked. 

“One?!” She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on my face, she added, “You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one.”

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most depraved act of sexual theater known to man, one being your average Friday night run through at the Lomax household, I’d say not to be a modest, Maryann and I got it on at about seven.”

Answer: The Devil’s Advocate! Part of five plus minute speech given by Al Pacino, playing John Milton, to Keanu Reeves (Kevin Lomax) at the climax of the film in John Milton’s (Pacino) office. Kevin Lomax is confronting his boss about the acts supposedly done to his wife whom is played by Charlize Theron. Knowing he is guilty he admits to the violent assault with this very provocative response.  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “In case your aim is any better than your judgment.” 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you find the word within a word for each set of clues listed below? The dashes beside each clue tell you how many letters are in the word you are to find. (ex. A young lion…in skin diving gear = ScubA)

1. A snooze…in a hiking bag: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

2. An armed conflict…in one who lacks courage: __ __ __ __ __ __

3. A line of seats…in a king’s headdress:__ __ __ __ __

4. A brooch…in a statement of belief:__ __ __ __ __ __ __

5. A math term…in a fireman’s climbing apparatus:__ __ __ __ __ __

Answer:  1. KnapSACK  2. COwarD  3. CrowN  4. OpinION  5. LaddER 

  

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

I’m never there when you need me,

For me you’ll have to wait,

I’ll provide a wealth of knowledge,

But always just too late,

What am I?

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO ANDREA L. BANKS, OUR SUPER SOLVER OF THE DAY! 

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

 

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