Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 9, 2014.    

What Academic Jargon Really Means

Funny quips.  translate academic jargon

‘IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN’ …
I didn’t look up the original reference.

‘A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT’ …
These data are practically meaningless.

‘WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS’ …
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

‘THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY’ …
The other results didn’t make any sense.
Funny quips.  Jokes academic jargon

‘TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN’ …
This is the prettiest graph.

‘THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT’ …
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

‘IN MY EXPERIENCE’ …
Once.

‘IN CASE AFTER CASE’ …
Twice.

‘ IN A SERIES OF CASES’ …
Thrice.

‘IT IS BELIEVED THAT’ …
I think.

‘IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT’ …
A couple of others think so, too.

‘CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE’ …
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

‘ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS’ …
Rumour has it.

‘A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE
OF THESE FINDINGS’ …
A really wild guess.

‘A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA’ …
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

‘IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS’ …
I don’t understand it….and I never will.

‘AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES’ …
They don’t understand it either.

‘A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY’ …
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

‘IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD’ …
I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

It is generally believed that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A new study claims half of all married women have a back-up husband in mind. Here’s what they’re not telling us. Half of all husbands also have a back-up husband in mind.” -Craig Ferguson

“In a recent statement, Vladimir Putin said that Ukraine ‘has always been and would continue to be the closest sister nation to Russia.’ And sometimes sisters fight when one sister steals the other sister’s boyfriend; Crimea.” -Seth Meyers

“Secret Service Director Julia Pierson has resigned, and they’re doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.” -Dave Letterman  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. 

 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “You know…for kids!”

 Answer: Hudsucker Proxy! This qutoe, from one of the first films by the Coen brothers, was delieverd by Tim Robbins a mulitude of times. He was trying to explain why his design for the hula-hoop would be huge. Of course his design was a circle on a piece of paper kept in his shoe. He sure did cause a lot of hoop-la! Fight on for Muncie! 

 Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this

quote from??? “There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge…”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) ales in Madrid & to refuse javelins

2) sluggish crawl & insane jump

3) very warm poodle & selfish hoarder of specks

4) large cetacean & bundle of toupees 

Answer: 1) Spanish beers & banish spears

2) lazy creep & crazy leap

3) hot dog & dot hog

4) big whale & wig bale 

 

  

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Can you decipher this:

mce

mce

mce

 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

 

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