Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, October 6, 2014.  

 Play with Words – Illogical, Yet Funny English Language

  • The market garden was designed to produce produce.Will and Guy's Jokes - Logic of English Language
  • The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  • In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
  • The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
  • Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
  • When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
  • How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
  • Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
  • In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
  • Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. Funny English Language
  • When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
  • Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
  • I did not object to the object.
  • Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
  • Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“President Obama addressed the U.N. today. It’s quite a responsibility for the president to address the U.N. Yesterday he spoke on climate change. Today he spoke on terrorism. And tomorrow he talks about how to buy real estate with no money down.” -Dave Letterman

“Political reporters are complaining that the White House has been asking them to edit some of their stories to make the president look better. The White House said that’s not true, and those reporters should please change what they said.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps was arrested early this morning for drunk driving. Police say Phelps aggravated the situation when they tried to give him a breathalyzer and he held his breath for six minutes.” -Seth Meyers

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.

However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”

“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.” 

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  “Looks like you Irish cops are perking up… That’s two

solid theories in one day, neither of which have to do with an overly sized man… Makes me feel like Riverdancin’!”

Answer: The Boondock Saints! William Dafoe in possibly his most twisted and off the wall roll plays a FBI man searching down to Irish vigilantes in Boston who take it upon themselves to rid the world of those that walk against the will of God. This quote is when Dafoe is in a crime scene and one of the local officers offers up the second straight good theory concerning the possible identity of the Saints. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this

quote from??? “I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

In a high school science class, Jimmy was given 50 milliliters of water and 50 milliliters of ethanol. His task was to mix them together and then run an experiment on the mixture. When the teacher came to check on him, however, Jimmy’s mixture only contained 94 milliliters. The teacher accused him of drinking some of the mixture in an attempt to get intoxicated and immediately sent him to the principal. Jimmy swears that he did not drink the mixture and that he didn’t lose any of the liquids by any means. What happened to the other six milliliters, and how could Jimmy prove his innocence?

Answer: When liquids are mixed, the molecules can arrange themselves so that they fit together more tightly than either of the original, pure liquids. A good way to visualize this is to picture a box completely filled with billiard balls (representing large molecules). If you pour a small amount of sand (representing small molecules) into the box, the sand will fill the voids between the billiard balls. The mass in the box will increase, but the total volume will not change. This is how Jimmy could prove his innocence – if he weighs the mixture, it will equal the original weight of the water plus the weight of the ethanol.

 

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

MTHEE Take letters 3 & 4

TTLERA Take letters 1 & 2

XETNDE Take letters 1 & 6

AYL Take letter 1

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

 
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

  

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