Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, October 31, 2014.  

Halloween Jokes…..

  • What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
    Lots of blood tests!
  • Why did Dracula’s mother give him cough medicine?
    Because he was having a coffin fit.
  • What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put a goldfish brain in the body of his dog?
    I don’t know, but it is great at chasing submarines.
  • Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?’
    Cos everyone was a goblin.
  • Why did the vampire’s lunch give him heartburn?
    It was a stake sandwich.
  • Dracula decided he need a dog, which breed did he choose?
    A bloodhound.
  • What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?Halloween grave jokes
    A dead ringer.
  • What do skeletons always order at a restaurant?
    Spare ribs!
  • Who was the most famous French skeleton?
    Napoleon bone-apart.
  • Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
    No body.
    Emoji

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“My husband and I married for better or worse… He couldn’t do better 

and I couldn’t do worse.” 

“I wouldn’t mind being the last man on Earth – just to see if all of those girls 

were telling me the truth.” -Ronnie Shakes

When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think its cute. I just think it’s crazy 

how many people bring knives on a date. 

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. – Erma Bombeck

‘Tis now the very witching time of night,

When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out

Contagion to this world.’ – William Shakespeare

Hold on, man. We don’t go anywhere with “scary,” “spooky,” “haunted,” 

or “forbidden” in the title. – Scooby-Doo

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics

and the “Great Pumpkin.” – Linus [Charlie Brown]

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. – Rodney Dangerfield

For 2014 Halloween the the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. 

And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. – Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

It was mid-October and I was waiting for my wife, Julie, at the checkout at Walmart supermarket in Worcester, Massachusetts, USA, I noticed that someone had left behind their broom.

When no one came to claim it, I went outside to search for a couple I remembered seeing at the cashier’s desk. I spotted them getting into their truck and hurried over.

‘Excuse me,’ I said to the young woman, ‘but did you by any chance leave your broom inside?’ 

‘No,’ she retorted quickly and with a smile, ‘we came by truck.’ 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “Are they physically able to survive the trip?”  “Personally, I don’t see

how they survived the tests.”

 

Answer: Armageddon! “Armageddon” includes such stars as Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck, Will Patton, Owen Wilson, Michael Clarke Duncan, Steve Buscemi and Billy Bob Thornton. They are the world’s best deep core drilling team and are sent to save the world from an asteriod. This quote is said between Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) and a NASA doctor about whether they could survive the trip to space. 

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  “Have I ever not showed? I mean in 19 years, have I ever not showed?”

“Well, that’s true of everyone till the first time they don’t show.”

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD, GREAT JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What does this represent?

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag CIRRUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag CUMULUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag STRATUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

 

Answer: Every cloud has a silver lining. Cirrus, cumulus, and stratus are types of clouds. 

Ag is the chemical symbol for silver. 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

Below are words or phrases grouped in pairs. There is a different word that fits in the middle of each set that can be defined by both sides. Your task is to find those words. 

Example:

Flower ________ Stood

Answer: Rose

1. Enclosure for animals – __________ – Writing instrument

2. Male sheep – __________ – Collide into something

3. To shove one thing inside another – __________ – A collection of miscellaneous items

4. Not specific or definite – __________ – Military officer of very high rank

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! WAY2SOLVE BANKS! Emoji

EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 30, 2014. 

 A. A. A. D. D.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.  As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.  I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check (check) book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra check are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered. I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.  I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.  I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn’t washed.

The bills aren’t paid.

There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface.

The flowers don’t have enough water.

There is still only one check in my checkbook.

I can’t find the TV remote.

I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

PS. I just remembered, I left the water running………………………………..

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

‘The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.’  Anonymous

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.   Douglas Adams

‘I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.’  Charles Lamb. 

‘When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally 

present him with a watch.’  R C Sherriff.

‘Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.’  Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.

‘It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.’  Scott Elledge.

‘When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.’  Alexander Graham Bell.

‘Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.’  William Shakespeare.

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Walter and his wife Masie are shopping in their local supermarket.  The husband picks up a case of Budweiser beer and puts it in their shopping cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks Masie.  ‘They’re on sale, only $20 for 24 cans Walter replies.

‘Put them back, we can’t afford them’ demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along Masie picks up a $40 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks Walter. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife. Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Bud and it’s half the price.’ Walter never knew what hit him. The next thing he heard on the supermarket PA system was: ‘Clean-up on aisle 7, we have a husband down.’ 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “He’s with me.” “I’m not “with him” with him, you know? It’s not like…”

 

Answer: Miss Congeniality! “Miss Congeniality” stars Sandra Bullock as an FBI agent going undercover in a beauty pageant to stop it from being bombed. This quote occurs between Vic Melling (Michael Caine) and Eric Matthews (Benjamin Bratt) as they are entering the pageant. Vic is Gracie’s coach so he gets through security with no problem and to get Eric through he tells security he is “with him”. 

 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  “Are they physically able to survive the trip?”  “Personally, I don’t see how they survived the tests.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Here’s a riddle you can solve with ease. You have to think, but if you are wise, Take note of the special words I use.

You must use your ears and not your eyes. 

It’s one of a kind, no debt it owes. What’s unique? The answer you must seize. Although it would help to see some jays,

I’m not talking of the birds and bees.

As you search through two not seven seas, Note each line ends like a pair of peas. Don’t wait to answer, there are no queues.

You should know by now, I’m such a tease. 

 

Answer: Each line ends with a word that sounds like double letters. “Peas” sounds like

two p’s. Both “seize” and “seas” sound like two c’s. Here is the full list:

ease = e’s

wise = y’s

use = u’s

eyes = i’s

owes = o’s

seize = c’s

jays = j’s

bees = b’s

seas = c’s

peas = p’s

queues = q’s

tease = t’s 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

What does this represent?

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag CIRRUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag CUMULUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag 

Ag STRATUS Ag 

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, October 29, 2014. 

Words of Wisdom….

  • One good turn gets the duvet.
  • The early worm gets eaten!
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • There are two theories to arguing with a woman.  Neither theory works.
  • The second mouse gets the cheese.Mousetrap joke
  • Hotel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
  • Never kick a fresh cowpat on a hot day.
  • Even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
  • When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.  If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
  • To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“There is a whole generation out there who, between ATM cards and credit cards, don’t even know what cash looks like. You take out a wad of bills these days, and you might as well be pulling out beaver pelts to pay for that pizza.” –Dennis Miller

“National Guard troops patrol the nation’s airports wearing jungle camouflage uniforms and carrying rifles. Nevertheless, it’s done nothing to hold down crime in airports. They’re still charging $4 for a candy bar.” –Argus Hamilton

“I don’t go out with my single friends anymore, because I never have any fun. Go to a club, a guy comes over, says, ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ ‘No, oh no, she’s married.’ Yeah, I’m married, but I’m thirsty. Why don’t you shut up and let me have a free drink?” -Wanda Sykes-Hall 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My friend had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. A-ha, she thought, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I’ll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present.”

She took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith examined the tray carefully, shook his head and said, “Lady, this can only be done so many times!” 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “No! You just cost someone their life! Game over!”  

 

Answer: The Negotiator! “The Negotiator” stars Samuel L. Jackson as a Chicago negotiator accused of the murder of his partner. In an attempt to prove his innocence, he holds a group of people hostage until he can find the truth. This line is said as Danny (Jackson) is on the phone with another negotiator who keeps saying “no”. Danny tells him to never say no to a hostage taker. 

 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “He’s with me.” “I’m not “with him” with him, you know? It’s not like…”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

A monk has a very specific ritual for climbing up the steps to the temple. First he climbs up to the middle step and meditates for 1 minute. Then he climbs up 8 steps and faces east until he hears a bird singing. Then he walks down 12 steps and picks up a pebble. He takes one step up and tosses the pebble over his left shoulder. Now, he walks up the remaining steps three at a time which only takes him 9 paces. How many steps are there? 

 

Answer: There are 49 steps.  He climbs halfway, which is step 25. He hears the bird singing on step 33. He picks up the pebble on the 21st step and tosses it on the 22nd step. The remaining 27 steps are taken three at a time which is 9 paces. 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Here’s a riddle you can solve with ease.

You have to think, but if you are wise,

Take note of the special words I use.

You must use your ears and not your eyes.

It’s one of a kind, no debt it owes.

What’s unique? The answer you must seize.

Although it would help to see some jays,

I’m not talking of the birds and bees.

As you search through two not seven seas,

Note each line ends like a pair of peas.

Don’t wait to answer, there are no queues.

You should know by now, I’m such a tease.

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, October 28, 2014. 

Hilarious, and True Funny Crime Stories….

Bungling Burglar - Ski mask story

  1. A man went into a drug store in Baltimore, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a “Hefty-bag” face mask over his head. He then and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask. He was arrested by security.

  2. A Belgium news agency reported, last year, that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn’t have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time.

    Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

  3. Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home
    ………… With the chain still attached to the machine
    ………… With their bumper still attached to the chain.
    ………… With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper. You couldn’t make it up!

  4. When a man attempted to siphon gas from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

  5. Investigating a purse snatching, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief’s description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID.

    The suspect carefully eyed the victim, and shouted, ‘Yeah, that’s the woman I robbed.’

  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. Albert Camus

Do not wait for the day of judgement, it takes place every day, Albert Camus

All men desire knowledge. Aristotle

Education is the best provision for old age. Aristotle

Well begun is half done. Aristotle

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them. Aristotle 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, ‘I have a complaint!’

‘Yes, Ma’am?’ said the librarian looking up at her. 

‘I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible.’

Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked, ‘What was wrong with it?’ 

‘It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever,’ said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, ‘Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our ‘phone book.’ 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “Well, guess what? We’re changing the rules a little bit, okay? We’re going to open the presents now, not later, now. Why? Because we’re adults and we can open the presents . . . whenever we want!”   

 

Answer: The Ref! “The Ref” stars Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis as a very dysfunctional couple on the verge of divorce. They are being held hostage on Christmas Eve by Denis Leary’s character Gus. This line is said by Gus as the family is sitting around arguing about when to open the Christmas presents. 

 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “No! You just cost someone their life! Game over!”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Given the word STANDARD, take away two letters and add three digits to make a logical sequence. 

 

Answer: Take away the A’s to leave ST ND RD. Then add 1, 2, and 3: 1ST 2ND 3RD.  

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

A monk has a very specific ritual for climbing up the steps to the temple. First he climbs up to the middle step and meditates for 1 minute. Then he climbs up 8 steps and faces east until he hears a bird singing. Then he walks down 12 steps and picks up a pebble. He takes one step up and tosses the pebble over his left shoulder. Now, he walks up the remaining steps three at a time which only takes him 9 paces. How many steps are there?

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, October 27, 2014. 

 Unusual and Strange Phobias……

  • Pteronophobia – Panic when tickled by feathers.
  • Pediophobia – Fear of dolls.
  • Russophobia – Dread of Russians.
  • Zemmiphobia – Fear of the great mole rat.
  • Consecotaleophobia – Fear of chopsticks.
  • Dendrophobia – Trepidation when amongst trees.
  • Dextrophobia – Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
  • Eleutherophobia – Strange phobia of freedom.
  • Epistemophobia – Fear of knowledge.
  • Ereuthrophobia – Dread of blushing.
  • Euphobia – Fear of hearing good news.
  • Genuphobia – Funny phobia of knees.
  • Graphophobia – Fear of writing or handwriting.
  • Geumaphobia or Geumophobia – Fear of taste.
  • Helminthophobia – Phobia of being infested with worms.
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – Fear of long words.
  • Hobophobia – Alarm of being next to vagrants or beggars.
  • Koinoniphobia – Funny fear of rooms.
  • Leprophobia or Lepraphobia – Panic of catching leprosy.
  • Levophobia – Fear of things to the left side of the body.Strange Phobias
  • Linonophobia – Strange phobia of string.
  • Logophobia – Fear of words.
  • Lutraphobia – Phobia of otters.
  • Melophobia – Fear of music
  • Nosocomephobia – Dread of hospitals.
  • Panophobia or Pantophobia – Fear of everything.

Extra one for luck: Phobophobia – The fear of developing a phobia, which, we suppose, sums it all up.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“The marriage rate has hit an all-time low, with 1 in 5 adults over 25 having never been married. In fact, an ad firm has come up with slogans to get people on board. One slogan is: ‘Marriage, satisfaction guaranteed or your money back – half of it, anyway.’ Another marriage ad slogan is: ‘Marriage – because happy people are annoying.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A group called ‘Clowns of America’ is speaking out against the way they’re depicted on TV. The president of ‘Clowns of America’ says they should be treated with dignity and respect. Sounds to me like they don’t want to be treated like clowns.” -Craig Ferguson

“The annual Wastebook report was released today. This is an annual report that lists wasteful government spending. Our government spent $387,000 giving rabbits a daily massage. That doesn’t sound wasteful to me. That sounds adorable.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, “No, Johnny, you can’t eat that now it has germs.” 

Johnny pondered the thought a moment and replied, “Jesus, germs, and Santa Claus – that’s all I ever hear and I haven’t seen one of them yet!” 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown!”

Answer: Meet The Parents! Ben Stiller plays Greg Focker, a male nurse who spends the weekend with his girlfriend’s parents in order to propose. Things don’t exactly go as planned with her father Jack, played by Robert De Niro. This line is said by Jack as they are trying on tuxes for Pam’s sisters wedding. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Well, guess what? We’re changing the rules a little bit, okay? We’re going to open the presents now, not later, now. Why? Because we’re adults and we can open the presents . . . whenever we want!”  

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic

Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Pleasant -> Frozen water

2. More recent -> Pitcher for water

3. Noble gas -> Indefinitely long period of time

4. Almost -> Ahead of time; at the beginning of a period of time

5. Not at any time -> At any time

6. None of two choices -> One of two choices

7. Limited width or scope -> Projectile shot from a bow

8. One, for example -> Brown, earthy colour  

 

Answer:  1. Nice -> Ice  2. Newer -> Ewer  3. Neon -> Eon  4. Nearly -> Early  5. Never -> Ever

6. Neither -> Either  7. Narrow -> Arrow  8. Number -> Umber

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

Given the word STANDARD, take away two letters and add three digits to make a logical sequence.

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER SOLVING JOB BANKS! 

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, October 24, 2014. 

 Oxymoron Phrases…..

  1. A stripper’s dressing room
  2. Click the start button, and shut down
  3. First strike defence
  4. Former President-for-life (Haiti)
  5. Alone in a crowd
  6. Xenophobic Foreign Secretary (Xenophobic = hates strangers)
  7. Personalized form letter
  8. I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
  9. Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else!Emoji
  10. An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
  11. Freezer burn, caused by liquid gas, created an anxious patient
  12. Open secret – clearly confused
  13. Found missing – minor crisis averted
  14. Tight slacks – Pretty ugly
  15. We climbed down into a blocked drain
  16. Soft rock, as shown on educational television
  17. Monopoly (Mono  Poly?) And why is there only one monopolies commission?
  18. Head butt

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key. Unknown.

I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.  – Ashleigh Brilliant

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.  – Jerome K. Jerome

Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been erected to a critic. – Jean Sibelius

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.

Is life worth living?  It all depends on the liver. – William James

If you dig a hole for someone else, you’ll fall into it. – Hungarian proverb 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Geoff had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that for years he called his wife, Anita, “Mother of Six,” in spite of her regular objections.  One evening, in their retirement years, they go to a party.  It is late and Geoff is ready to go home and wants to find out if Anita is ready to leave as well.  Geoff bellows at the top of his voice, ‘Shall we go home, Mother of Six?’  Anita, greatly irritated by Geoff’s lack of discretion over so many years, yells back at him, ‘Anytime you’re ready, “Father of Four”.’ Emoji

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “You wanna fight, then you fight me you ugly, smelly-breath suka.” “Or

how ’bout you? String bean, Rick James-lookin’ fool?”

 

Answer: Berry Gordy’s: The Last Dragon! Spoken by Glen Eaton in his only big performance. When the man being spoken to, character name Sho-nuff (Julius Carry) enters the dojo to pick a fight with the sensei (Taimak), Eaton draws the aggression his way. 

 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???   “I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown!”

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

 

Answer: 3 feet 

Your focal length in a mirror is your distance away from the mirror, plus the distance of the object away from the mirror. When you look at an object in a mirror, you are seeing a virtual image the exact distance it is away from the mirror. So, if you are standing 3 feet away from a mirror, and focus on your face, you are actually focusing at 6 feet.

To try this out, put a piece of tape on a mirror, about eye level. Standing in front of the mirror, focus your eyes on the tape, now your face is out of focus. Focus now on your face, and the tape is out of focus. 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic

Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Pleasant -> Frozen water

2. More recent -> Pitcher for water

3. Noble gas -> Indefinitely long period of time

4. Almost -> Ahead of time; at the beginning of a period of time

5. Not at any time -> At any time

6. None of two choices -> One of two choices

7. Limited width or scope -> Projectile shot from a bow

8. One, for example -> Brown, earthy colour

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 23, 2014. 

Funny Thoughts for the Day

  • Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.  
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a ‘Broker’?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse flavored cat food?
  • Why do they call the airport ‘the terminal’ if flying is so safe?
  • I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. – Ancient Persian Saying
  • If people from Poland are called ‘Poles’, why aren’t people from Holland called ‘Holes?’
  • You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
  • Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  • Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone  Funny Thought of the Day
  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
  • Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be.  
  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Men who seek happiness are like drunkards who can never find their house but are sure that they have one. – Voltaire

The brain is a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. – Robert Frost

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. – Salvador Dali

How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese? – Charles De Gaulle

One camel does not make fun of another camel’s hump. Ghanaian Proverb

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane. – June Henderson

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. – Carl Sandburg  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.Jungle talk - Funny story

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance.

The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength … None in the forest dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.

As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all … hawk, lion and stinker.  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  “Arugula, I haven’t had Arugula in six weeks.”

 

Answer: My Blue Heaven! As Steve Martin exits the supermarket he is asked by the store manager if there was anything that he wanted that the store didn’t have. The manager asks him what arugula is, to which he replies, “It’s a vegetable.” Luckily they didn’t ask him about the hundreds of pounds of beef he just bought for less than $20.  

 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???   “You wanna fight, then you fight me you ugly, smelly-breath suka.” “Or how ’bout you? String bean, Rick James-lookin’ fool?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you decipher this phrase?

T _ _ E

 

Answer: I’m out of time. I M are out of T I M E. The hint refers to what the white rabbit said in Alice in Wonderland. 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji