WELCOME to Thursday, September 18, 2014.
Excerpts from 6th grade history tests…….really…….
1. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.
2. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
3. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, “a horse divided against itself can not stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
4. Abraham Lincoln was America’s greatest precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
5. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
6. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The FBI debuted its new facial recognition software which will archive the faces of tens of millions of Americans every day. This groundbreaking, amazing new software is called Facebook.” -Conan O’Brien
“In L.A. it’s over 100 degrees. Heat warnings remain in effect. The National Weather Service is advising residents of Southern California to strongly consider living somewhere else.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus received 4 million pre-orders in the first 24 hours. Meanwhile, the new Blackberry keeps driving by your house to see if you’re home.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Steve Cleary was in his early 50’s, retired and had started a second career. However, he just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. However, he was a good worker, really clever, so the owner was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called Steve into the office for a talk. ‘Steven, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a top class job, but you’re being late so often is quite a worry.’ ‘Yes, I realize that, sir, and I am working on it.’ replied Steve. ‘I’m pleased to hear that, you are a team player. It’s odd though, you’re coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Royal Navy. What did they say if you came in late there?’ ‘They said, “Good morning, Admiral.” ‘
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘You have a TV?’ ‘No, I just like to read the TV guide. You read the TV guide you don’t need a TV.’
Answer: ‘The Lost Boys’ A nice retort from the very eccentric grandfather.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘It just so happens, I am a lawyer.’ ‘Kill the lawyer!’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following are anagrams of countries. Can you decipher all of them?
1. Glib Emu
2. Neat Grain
3. Age Lens
4. Dark Men
Answer: 1. Belgium 2. Argentina 3. Senegal 4. Denmark 5. Israel
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What is this word?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES ONCE AGAIN TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!
GREAT JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org.