WELCOME to Wednesday, September 10, 2014.
Husband Files Missing Person Report…..
Gilbert Parsons went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife, this is a true transcript of his
conversation with the police officer. Husband: I lost my wife Gale, she went shopping at Macy’s and hasn’t come back yet.
Officer: How tall is she?
Husband: I never checked.
Officer: Slim or healthy?
Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.
Officer: What color are Gale’s eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Officer: Color of her hair?
Husband: That changes according to season.
Officer: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Officer: Was she driving?
Officer: Color of the car? . . . . .
Husband: Silver Ford Focus Zetec 1.6 engine, automatic drive, 2013 plate. Scratch on the offside driver’s panel, crack in the front headlight ……. and then the husband started crying …..
Officer: Don’t worry sir … we will find your car.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do,
A priest dies and is waiting at the Pearly Gates of heaven. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, ‘Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?’ The guy replies, ‘I’m Mike, retired American Airline pilot from Chicago.’ Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, ‘Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.’ So Captain Mike goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it’s the priest’s turn. He stands to his full height and booms out, ‘I am Father David, pastor of Saint Mary’s church for the last 51 years.’ Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, ‘Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom. ‘Just a minute,’ says the good father. ‘That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be? ‘Up here – we go by results,’ says Saint Peter. ‘When you preached – people slept. When the pilot flew, people prayed…’
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org.