Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 10, 2014.   

 Husband Files Missing Person Report…..

Gilbert Parsons went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife, this is a true transcript of his

conversation with the police officer.  Husband: I lost my wife Gale, she went shopping at Macy’s and hasn’t come back yet.

Officer: How tall is she?

Husband: I never checked.

Officer: Slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.

Officer: What color are Gale’s eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Officer: Color of her hair?

Husband: That changes according to season.

Officer: What was she wearing?

Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.

Officer: Was she driving?

Husband: Yes.

Officer: Color of the car? . . . . . 

Husband: Silver Ford Focus Zetec 1.6 engine, automatic drive, 2013 plate.  Scratch on the offside driver’s panel, crack in the front headlight ……. and then the husband started crying …..

Officer: Don’t worry sir … we will find your car.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“The wisest men follow their own direction.” 
–Euripides 
 
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” 
–Mark Twain 
 
“Only fools are positive.” 
–Moe Howard  
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A priest dies and is waiting at the Pearly Gates of heaven. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.  Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, ‘Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?’  The guy replies, ‘I’m Mike, retired American Airline pilot from Chicago.’  Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, ‘Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.’ So Captain Mike goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next, it’s the priest’s turn. He stands to his full height and booms out, ‘I am Father David, pastor of Saint Mary’s church for the last 51 years.’  Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest,  ‘Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.  ‘Just a minute,’ says the good father. ‘That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?  ‘Up here – we go by results,’ says Saint Peter.  ‘When you preached – people slept. When the pilot flew, people prayed…’

Tuesday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘She’s Alora Dannon, the future empress of Tiras Leen and the last thing she’s 
going to want is a hairy chest!’
 
Answer: Willow’  Willow yelled this at Mad Martigan when he was feeding the baby blackroot.  
 
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘That was a hell of a thing.’
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I creep in with feline grace –
Stealthy, silent, gliding –
Adding beauty, mystery, and stillness to all in my path.
 
My shape is ever-changing:
Pausing and moving, here and there,
A cool caress across your cheek as I slip quietly by.
 
But my looks are deceiving –
Peril may lurk behind my misty veil.
Slow down, be cautious, or you may abruptly meet with danger there.
 
What am I?
 
Answer: Fog.
 
Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
 
1. Position; observe -> Compete
2. Introductory textbook -> First in rank
3. School subject -> Floor covering
4. Written composition -> Show displeasure
5. Make again -> A colour
6. What person (objective) -> What person (subjective)
7. Close together; slow to learn -> Lairs
8. Therefore -> Unit of energy
 
Bonus: Take the eight curtailed letters and form a one-word anagram; you will find an assignment.
 
 
TODAY’S PURE GENIUS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING MONDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!  GREAT JOB BANKS!!!! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

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