Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, September 9, 2014.   

 Laws of Computing10 Laws of Computing

If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.

The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

To err is human … to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

A complex system that doesn’t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

The more acronyms on a page, the harder the topic is to understand.

Inside every program is a small module struggling to find a life of its own.

Developeritus.  Developers get their programs working perfectly on their machines, but they forget that their potential customers may have very different computer environments.

Computer project teams avoid monthly progress reporting because it demonstrates their lack of progress.

Program complexity grows until it exceeds the abilities of the programmer who must maintain it.

You will never solve any computer problem if you are in a bad mood.

When troubleshooting computer problems, people always assume that problem is the most obscure combination possible.  Whereas, in reality the fault is invariably the simplest fault.

Every computer program expands to fill all the available memory.

If a computer supplier says a part is interchangeable, for example tape drives – they lie.

Remember that your computer makes as many mistakes in two pico seconds as fifty men working for a years.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A new survey found that the tooth fairy left about 42 cents less in 2011 than it did the year before. When kids lose teeth now, they’re like, ‘Ehh, I’m gonna hold onto this until the market improves.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“How many of you have kids heading off to college? Well, don’t you worry, because that liberal arts degree? That thing is a license to print money.” -Dave Letterman
“The NFL season kicked off officially tonight. It’s that magical time of the year when millions of Americans transition from checking Facebook all day at work to checking their fantasy football lineups all day at work.” -Jimmy Kimmel 
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 I deliver pizza to help cover my college tuition. Once I called on customers who sent their seven-year-old son to pay me. As he approached the screen door, I noticed he was carrying a check in one hand and two dollars in the other, which I assumed was my tip. 

To my dismay, he pocketed the bills before handing me the check, which was for the exact cost of the pizza. 

“Could that have been a tip?” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory. 

“Yep,” he replied proudly. “not bad for just a walk from the living room and back!” 

Monday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? ‘Nobody understands cricket, you have to know what a crumpet is 
to understand cricket.’
 
Answer:  ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’  Raphael said this after Casey Jones pulled out a 
cricket stick, just before Casey nailed him with it. 
 
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘She’s Alora Dannon, the future empress of Tiras Leen and the last thing she’s going to want is a hairy chest!’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of the clues below describe a 70’s American TV show. Can you name each show?
 
1. Ruffles, Pringles, Frito-Lays
2. 911 !
3. The aeronautically capable, habit wearing female (3)
4. A four wheeled vehicle, driven by a person whose job it is to take passengers and their luggage where they want to go in exchange for a fee 
5. More than seven, nine is too much (3)
6. Small abode on the treeless tract of land (5)
7. Mixture of the sodium salts of various fatty acids of natural oils and fats 
 
Answer: 1. CHiPs  2. Emergency! 3. The Flying Nun  4. Taxi  5. Eight is Enough  6. Little House on the Prairie  7. Soap
 
Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….
I creep in with feline grace –
Stealthy, silent, gliding –
Adding beauty, mystery, and stillness to all in my path.
 
My shape is ever-changing:
Pausing and moving, here and there,
A cool caress across your cheek as I slip quietly by.
 
But my looks are deceiving –
Peril may lurk behind my misty veil.
Slow down, be cautious, or you may abruptly meet with danger there.
 
What am I?
 
 
TODAY’S PURE GENIUS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING MONDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!  GREAT JOB LADIES!!!! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

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