Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 3, 2014.    

 A New Element – Governmentium

A New Element - Governmentium

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named ‘Governmentium.’ Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years in America*; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

* In  other countries the half-life can be different, for example in the UK it can be up to 5 years.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium–an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
If it were not for the government, we would have nothing else to laugh at in France.
Nicholas Chamfort [1741-1794 French Wit]
 
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 
George Jean Nathan [Born 1882, American editor, author and critic]
 
The American Government is a rule of the people, by the people, and for the boss. 
Austin O’Malley [1858-1932 Writer]
 
I don’t make jokes; I just watch the Government and report the facts. Will Rogers
 
The art of Government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of person to give to the other.
Voltaire [18th century French philosopher, historian and satirist]
In America, the President reigns for four years and journalism forever and ever. 
Oscar Wilde [1856-1900 British wit, poet and dramatist] 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

One day a civil servant in Whitehall, London, UK, was clearing out his office drawers when he found a magic lamp. Since he’d heard many jokes before to do with lamps, he knew that he had to rub it and make the genie appear. This he did and out popped a genie.

The genie asked, as genies do, ‘What is your first wish, oh master?’  The civil servant thought about it for a second, then replied, ‘I would like to be extremely rich.’ So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivalling the amounts of even Bill Gates and Roman Abramovich.  Since the government employee knew the whole wish process, the genie didn’t even have to ask for number two before he said, ‘My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command.’ And poof, he was there.  Then the executive decided on his third wish, ‘I don’t want to do any work ever again in my life.’ And poof he was back in his office. 

 

Monday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Congratu-fricking-lations.’
 
Answer:  ‘Spawn’  The Clown said this to Martin Sheen after Spawn crashed a party and split. 
 
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘I’m not afraid of death, but I am afraid of murder.’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!
 
Starting letter: A
 
Clues:
 
1. sodium
2. one, some, every, or all
3. greenish blue
4. careful and shrewd
5. Grand ——
 
Answer: A
NA
ANY
CYAN
CANNY
CANYON
 
The Grand Canyon leaves all who experience it with a sense of wonder, magic and awe. From its dramatic 5000 foot deep, 277 miles long, and up to 18 mile wide gorge, to its diverse plateaus, towers and hills, the Grand Canyon is one of the world’s most stunning destinations. Rich with exceptional beauty, ancient geological history and modern universal amazement, the Grand Canyon attracts more than 5 million tourists each year. 
 
Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….
I’ve been drawn by the artists these days, and of old;
Yet I’m seen only when all around me is cold.
 
For most of the time you just live and ignore me;
Then you gasp for me, stop for me, mutter below me.
 
You might say, in surprise, I’ve been taken away,
But it’s true I’ve been with you, at least ’til today.
 
When I leave you, you leave too!
 
Who am I?
 
 
 
TODAY’S PURE GENIUS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THE QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!  
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

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