Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, September 2, 2014.    

What The New Job-Lingo Really Means……….. 

** JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY – We have no time to train you.

** CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE – We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

** MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED – You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

** SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED – Some time each night and some time each weekend.

** DUTIES WILL VARY – Anyone in the office can boss you around.

** MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL – We have no quality control.

** CAREER-MINDED – Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

** NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE – We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

** SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE – You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

** PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST – You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

** REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS – You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

** GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Chinese authorities have seized 30,000 tons of what? Chicken feet. Because they’re tainted. Well, there goes my cookout.” -Dave Letterman
“According to an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii, who spent years studying this, Hello Kitty is not actually a cat. I hope the anthropologist was studying other stuff, too.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study found that having a big wedding boosts your chance of having a good marriage. While having a destination wedding boosts your chance of having friends who hate you.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! I smell maple syrup!”  The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says “Yum! I smell honey!”  The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.

So he says, “Geez, all I can smell is….MOLASSES!”

 

Friday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? ‘This town need an enema!’
 
Answer: ‘Batman’  This is one of many fantastic lines that Jack Nicholson had as The Joker.
 
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘Congratu-fricking-lations.’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this phrase?  R.P.I.   
Answer: A grave error
 
Monday’s  Quizzler is……….
In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!
 
Starting letter: A
 
Clues:
 
1. sodium
2. one, some, every, or all
3. greenish blue
4. careful and shrewd
5. Grand ——
 
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

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