Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, August 22, 2014.     

Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies…………….

Movie Jokes

Next time you go to the movies on a Friday night, keep your eye out for extra information that you can pick up about every day events.  These jokes have a strange but true ring to them.

1) Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies

  • A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  • During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.Will and Guy's jokes Eiffel tower
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom still still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
  • Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • Large, loft-style apartments in New York City (or Paris) are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.
  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
  • If staying in a haunted house, women will investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
  • Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
  • It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  • Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
  • You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
  • Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
  • If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
  • If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
  • When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 
Search others for their virtue, and yourself for your vices.
R. Buckminster Fuller
 
Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us will know on this earth.
Edwin Louis Cole
 
Art is Art. Everything else is everything else.
Ad Reinhardt
 
What’s a butterfly garden without butterflies?
Roy Rogers
 
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
Joan Rivers
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 A woman driver ended up parking her car in the roof of this Italian house after she forgot to put on the handbrake.  Maria Rizzo, 34, stopped to admire the spectacular view from the street above the house in Alassio, on the Gulf of Genoa in northern Italy.

Funny Car Picture

Will and Guy heard that she was so intent on taking a photograph that she forgot to put on the handbrake, and her car rolled away, smashing through a barrier and plunging down the hill onto the house below.

The Fiat Panda broke through the roof and landed in the bathroom, with the front end wedged in an iron bath which broke the fall and stopped the red car plunging further into the house. A police spokesman remarked to us, ‘Luckily no one was home at the time, so nobody was hurt, but the owner of the property did have a surprise when they arrived home.’

 

Thursday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘Faster, must go faster!’
 
Answer:  Independence Day! Jeff Goldblum running from aliens (‘Independence Day’). Goldblum says the same line when running from a very angry T-Rex in ‘Jurassic Park’.
 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘All right, this chick is toast!’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the next number?
 
3, 76, 49, 24, 59 
  
Answer: 36 
 
Friday’s  Quizzler is……….
1: flawed
2: not flawed
1: flawed
3: not flawed
1: flawed
4: not flawed
1: flawed
5: not flawed
 
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 
 

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