Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Friday, August 15, 2014.   

School Answering Machine – Joke or True?

This is the message that a School staff in the Worcester area voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school. It came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and Parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are now being threatened with legal action by some parents who want their children’s failing marks changed to passing marks – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their various key stages.

The Message:School Answering Machine - Joke or True?

‘Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.  In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

  • To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1
  • To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work – Press 2
  • To complain about what we do – Press 3
  • To swear at staff members – Press 4
  • To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you – Press 5
  • If you want us to bring up your child – Press 6
  • If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7
  • To complain about school lunches – Press 8
  • To complain about bus transport – Press 9

LASTLY:

If you realize this is the real world, and your child must be accountable and responsible for their own behavior, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day! 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. – William Morris
 
In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact. Les Brown
 
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar
 
Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become. C. S. Lewis
 
But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. Elizabeth Edwards
 
The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.
Mike Murdock
 
All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives. Dalai Lama
 
Forgiveness, Love, Lives Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience. – Paul Cezanne
 
Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience. Paul Cezanne
 
We were all born with a certain degree of power. The key to success is discovering this innate power and using it daily to deal with whatever challenges come our way.  Les Brown
 
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.
Napoleon Bonaparte 
 
Our daily deeds as ordinary South Africans must produce an actual South African reality that will reinforce humanity’s belief in justice, strengthen its confidence in the nobility of the human soul, and sustain all our hopes for a glorious life for all. Nelson Mandela
 
I am blessed to have so many great things in my life – family, friends and God. All will be in my thoughts daily. Lil’ Kim
 
Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion – it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ. Billy Graham 
 
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Richard, a fresher, at USC [University of Southern California] ‘phoned his Mother one evening from his college room and asked her for some money because he was flat broke.

His Mother sighed, ‘OK, Richard. I will send you some money. Then she added, ‘Oh by the way, you also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?’

‘Ummm, oh yeah, you better, yes, OK,’ Richard replied vaguely.

So his Mum wrapped the book along with the checks in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she returned, Dad inquired, ‘Well how much did you give the boy this time?’

‘Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him.’

‘That’s $1020!’ yelled Dad, ‘Are you mad, have you gone totally bonkers?’

‘Don’t worry darling,’ Richard’s Mother answered with a wide grin, ‘I taped the $20 checks to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!’ 

 

Thursday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Attitude reflects leadership, captain.’     
 
Answer: Remember the Titans! The movie is actually based on the true story of the T.C. Williams High School Titans.
 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Marvin and Loren are exploring a forest in Queensland. They spotted a nice rainbow earlier, and then decided to go see the wildlife near the river. Loren spots a weird but harmless looking mammal and goes for a closer look. Marvin yells to be careful because it is venomous. Loren laughs, thinking Marvin must be joking. Unfortunately Loren gets too close and is stung in the hand. Loren starts to cry out in pain. Marvin comes over to Loren to tell him how stupid he is, but at least the venom is not lethal. What did Loren get stung by?  
  
Answer: Duckbill Platypus 
 
Male platypuses have venomous spurs.  
 
Friday’s  Quizzler is……….
Changing one letter in each of the following words will make new words that are all related to each other. What are the new words?
 
Storm
Payable
Cable
Moth
 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!                     NICE WORK BANKS!
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 

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