Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday, August 14, 2014.   

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date: Time of departure:       Time of return: 

Location:   From: To: 

Beer Wine Liquor:   Total

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be fed up with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer 
Locations to be visited 
Females with whom conversation is permitted

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity.  

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed -Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

Request is: APPROVED DENIED 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.
William Morris
 
That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key. Elizabeth Wurtzel
 
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mahatma Gandhi
 
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.
Pablo Picasso 
 
In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact. Les Brown 
 
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar 
 
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My new wife Jenny told me we couldn’t afford beer anymore and I’d have to quit. Then I caught her spending $75 on makeup. So I asked, how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don’t think Jenny’s coming back. 

 

Wednesday Movie  Tivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys.’      
 
Answer: Bring it On! Actresses Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union were actually cheerleaders in high school.
 
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Attitude reflects leadership, captain.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I have listed the following as Happy Words. What is it about these words that suggests that they are “Happy”?
 
Semicircle
Mesdemoiselles
Postmillennial
Assimilate
Snowmobile
Superfamilies  
  
Answer: The words all contain the letters S-M-I-L-E in order. They all have a smile, so they must be happy!
 
e.g. SeMicIrcLE 
 
Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….
Marvin and Loren are exploring a forest in Queensland. They spotted a nice rainbow earlier, and then decided to go see the wildlife near the river. Loren spots a weird but harmless looking mammal and goes for a closer look. Marvin yells to be careful because it is venomous. Loren laughs, thinking Marvin must be joking. Unfortunately Loren gets too close and is stung in the hand. Loren starts to cry out in pain. Marvin comes over to Loren to tell him how stupid he is, but at least the venom is not lethal. What did Loren get stung by?  
 
 
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 

 
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