Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-quotes-funny-images-funny-kids-funny-memes-funny-pictures-Favim.com-615294

WELCOME to Tuesday, August 12, 2014.  

  
New Evening Classes for Men……..
 
All are welcome – Open to men only.
 
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.  The course lasts for 4 weeks and topics covered in this course include:
 
Week One of Evening Classes for Men
 
1) TOILET ROLLS – DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
 
2) DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKETS AND FLOOR
Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)
 
3) DISHES & CUTLERY; 
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts (Some men say yes)
 
4) HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
 
5) EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
 
6) LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming  – Open forum
 
Week Two – Evening Classes for Men
 
7) LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups
 
8) HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint Presentation
 
9) REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
 
10) IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
 
11) LIVING WITH ADULTS; 
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
 
Online class and role playing
 
12) HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises,
meditation and breathing techniques
 
13) REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
 
14) GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Police in Ohio are looking for two women who tried to rob a bakery but left with only two glazed donuts because there was no money in the register. The cops are offering a small reward for information on the women, and a huge reward for info on those doughnuts.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A Republican congressman has accused Democrats of waging a war on whites. As proof, he pointed to the recent bombing of the kale aisle at a Trader Joe’s.” -Conan O’Brien
“A 44-year-old mother in New York was arrested after she left her 7-year-old unattended at a Long Island Lego store. Luckily by the time the police found the child, he had already built a better mother.” -Seth Meyers 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase — a large bag of potato chips.  Seeing the checkout clerk’s quizzical look, he explained, “I’m a very messy eater.”     Monday Movie  Tivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Hello, Clarice.’    
 
Answer:The Silence of the Lambs!
‘The Silence of the Lambs’ was only the third movie to ‘sweep’ the five major Oscar categories: Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Screenplay.   
 
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘We are men of action. Lies do not become us.’ 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM! Emoji
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Complete the words below using each letter of the alphabet once only:
li_ _t
_o_an
pu_ _ le
_-r_ _
e_ _l
_ _eer
_cie_ _e
g_ _ let
_u_ge
_ac_et
pu_zl_
_rai_ 
  
Answer: light
woman
purple
x-ray
evil
queer
science
goblet
fudge
jacket
puzzle
trail 
 
Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….
Pete’sa Pete lists prices for his extra toppings in pairs. How much does each topping cost by itself? Each price is whole-dollar increments. 
 
Pineapple & Hot Peppers $7
Broccoli & Extra Cheese $6
Mushrooms & Onions $2
Black Olives & Hot Peppers $5
Pepperoni & Mushrooms $4
Onions & Black Olives $3
Extra Cheese & Mushrooms $5
 
  
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s