Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, August 8, 2014.      

Male-Organised Courses for Women…..
 
Note that due to the complexity and difficulty level of the subject area, class sizes will be limited to 5 women.
 
Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm
 
Class 2: Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Moaning About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
 
Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Waitrose Without Stopping? – Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 pm for 2 hours.
 
Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase – Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 pm for 3 weeks.
 
Class 5: Curling Irons – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 pm
 
Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 pm
 
Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 pm, 2 hours.
 
Class 8: I Was Wrong and He Was Right! Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 pm. Location to be determined.
 
Class 9: How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
 
Class 10: Learning to Live: How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 pm. Location to be determined
 
Class 11: How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm.
 
Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Kia is recalling more than 50,000 cars because of an issue with the steering system caused by the wrong type of adhesive holding together certain parts. Then Kia drivers said, ‘Wait, these cars are GLUED together?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Scrabble is adding 5,000 new words including ‘chillax’ and ‘selfie.’ So kids, there’s never been a better time to challenge your grandparents to a game of Scrabble.” -Conan O’Brien
“Tonight’s CMA Music Festival was held in Nashville – which is a coincidence because I was held in Nashville once.” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, ‘Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich’.

The second lady chimed in, ‘Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.’

The third one responded, ‘Well, I am glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood, ‘as she rapped her knuckles on the table.  She looked up and said, ‘That must be the door, I’ll get it!’ 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘Be my victim.’
 
Answer:  Candyman! Three days before ‘Candyman’ was released, a seven-year-old resident of the Cabrini Green housing
project (where most of the movie was set) was shot and killed.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn’t you, Benny?’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
There once was a family of spies. One of them is celebrating his birthday, and the Mommy spy gave him gifts. The celebrant did not say anything; instead he gave this set of words:
 
toes
heat
ambition
nose
kiss
see
for
oneupmanship
route
tough
 
And because the family are spies, the Mom understood the message. 
 
What was the message?  
  
Answer: THANKS FOR THE PRESENTS!  If you read the first letters beginning from the first word downward, and then the last letters from the last word upwards, you will reveal the message.
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out what words are represented by the following?
 
1. Iron + M + Iodine + Nickel + Neon
2. M + Arsenic + Copper + Lithium + Neon
3. Iron + M + Aluminum + E
4. Tungsten + Oxygen + M + A + Nitrogen
5. Germanium + Nitrogen + Thallium + E + M + A + Nitrogen
6. Lanthanum + Dysprosium
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!  GREAT JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 
 

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