Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 7, 2014.   

The “Middle Wife” by an Anonymous 2nd Grade Teacher………
 
I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
 
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
 
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
 
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”
 
‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’
 
She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
 
‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) ‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
 
‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
 
‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.’
 
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife” comes along. 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
He who is brave is free.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.
Boethius
The art of a people is a true mirror to their minds.
Jawaharlal Nehru
We won’t have a society if we destroy the environment.
Margaret Mead
Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
Helen Hayes
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Bobby, nine, opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.  ‘Hey, Mum, look what I’ve found!’ Bobby called out.’ What have you got there, dear?’ his mother asked. Astonishment written all over his face, he answered: ‘I think it’s Adam’s suit!’

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.’
 
Answer: 10 Things I Hate About You!
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Be my victim.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
 To some I am considered a doctor,
and to many, my title is abbreviated.
I was also once a soldier who fought for many years. 
After many battles, I have at last retired and have found other things to do.
 
Who am I?
  
Answer: I am a Vet.
 
A Veterinary doctor is commonly referred to as a ‘Vet’.
 
The retired soldier is usually referred to as a ‘Vet’ (taken from the word, ‘veteran’). 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
There once was a family of spies. One of them is celebrating his birthday, and the Mommy spy gave him gifts. The celebrant did not say anything; instead he gave this set of words:
 
toes
heat
ambition
nose
kiss
see
for
oneupmanship
route
tough
 
And because the family are spies, the Mom understood the message. 
 
What was the message?
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 
 

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