Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

giphy (3)

WELCOME to Tuesday, July 29, 2014.     

‘Thoughts for Today’ as We Grow Older………………………..
Ageing: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The easiest way to find something that’s lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you?
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
He who hesitates is almost certainly right.
Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘XL’.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt..
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment,
or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.  Leo Buscaglia
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.
Mother Teresa
Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.
Paramahansa Yogananda
A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
Denis Waitley
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
Thomas Paine
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Graham rings the local newspaper and asks to speak to the person in charge of the obituary column.  He is passed to the advertiser and he asks, ‘How much does it cost to place an obituary in the paper?’

‘$1.20 per word, sir, ‘replies the newspaperman respectfully.’

‘Ok’, says Graham, ‘are you ready?’Old man joke

‘Yes’, came the answer.

‘The obit. reads – ‘ Jones dead’.’

‘No more?’ asks the newsman in a very surprised voice.

‘No, that’s it, ‘came the reply.

‘I have to tell you, ‘announced the advertiser, ‘but there is a 5 word minimum.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’ complained Graham, ‘in that case it will read:

‘Jones dead.  Volkswagen for sale’

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? Person 1: “Did you ever imagine it would end like this?” Person 2: “The horse was a surprise.”
Answer: The Road to El Dorado! This forgotten 2000 DreamWorks film stars Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh as Tulio and Miguel, respectively, two Spaniards who stow away on one of Hernan Cortes’ ships bound for the New World. When they arrive, they find El Dorado, where they are mistaken as gods. In this quote, Miguel (Person 1) and Tulio (Person 2) are floating in a lifeboat, having been lost at sea for days after jumping off Cortes’ ship. Altivo, Cortes’ horse, is with them, eliciting Tulio’s response to Miguel’s question of their impending death. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? Person 1: “We have come to the most critical area of masculine behavior…dancing.” [Person 2 starts dancing] Person 1: “Truly manly men do not dance.” Person 2: “Oh, come on!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What common household item wouldn’t have became popular if it wasn’t for another invention in 1928 (it didn’t take off until 1930)? 
Answer: The toaster.  The first electric toaster was invented in 1893 in Great Britain by Crompton and Co (UK) and re-invented in 1909 in the United States. It only toasted one side of the bread at a time and it required a person to stand by and turn it off manually when the toast looked done. Charles Strite invented the modern timer, pop-up toaster in 1919. Otto Frederick Rohwedder invented the bread slicer, which he started working on in 1912. At first, Rohwedder came up with the idea of a device that held the slices together with hat pins (not a success). In 1928, he designed a machine that sliced and wrapped the bread to prevent the sliced bread from going stale. Pre-sliced bread was popularized by Wonder Bread in 1930, helping to spread the toaster’s popularity further.  The hint refers to the common phrase “The best thing since sliced bread”.  The title is a subtle hint to “Wonder Bread”.  
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.  Example: Begin -> Heavenly body  Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Fragmented; torn -> Lacking funds
2. Place of shelter; a refuge -> Possess; own
3. Community; village -> Pull behind
4. Paradise -> Throw with effort
5. Grass -> Set of rules imposed by an authority
6. Chess piece -> Clawed animal foot
7. Bedding, tablecloth -> A mark longer than it is wide
8. Baker’s number -> Sleep lightly

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji



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