Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, July 25, 2014.   

The Top 35 Oxymorons………
Government Worker
Legally drunk
Exact estimate
Act naturally
Found missing
Resident alien
Genuine imitation
Airline Food
Good grief
Government organization
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt Head
Military Intelligence
Sweet sorrow
Rural Metro (ambulance service)
“Now, then …”
Passive aggression
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct Life
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Working vacation
Religious tolerance
Microsoft Works
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.
O. Henry
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 Walking through San Francisco’s Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.

He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Moishe Plotnik’s Chinese Bar & Grill.” “Moishe Plotnik?” he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?”  So he walks into the establishment and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the bar. The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like “Moishe Plotnik’s Bar & Grill?” The old man answers, “Is name of owner.”  The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?”  “Me, is right here,” replies the old man.  “You? How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?”  

“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is Jewish gentleman from Poland.  Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’ He say, ‘Moishe Plotnik.’ Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?’ I say, “Sem Ting.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? “You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog? Oh, that’s bad even for you.”  
 
Answer:  Garfield: The Movie! Based on the popular comic strip of the same name, this 2004 film received mostly bad reviews, even from fans of the strip. Despite this, a sequel was released in 2006 anyway. The movie stars Bill Murray as Garfield, Breckin Meyer as his owner, Jon, and Jennifer Love Hewitt as Garfield’s veterinarian and the object of Jon’s affection, Dr. Liz Wilson. This quote is said by Garfield in reference to Jon’s attempt to ask Liz out on a date, though he somehow managed to get saddled with a new pet dog, Odie, in the process because he was so smitten with Liz.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? “This is the kind of conversation two people have when one of them is female.”
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
 In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.
 
1. eng___, f___, mar___
2. c___, car___, s___
3. ag___, g___, h___
 
Answer: 1. engine, fine, marine
2. cafe, carafe, safe
3. agave, gave, have 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
For each of the following four words, come up with another English word that uses all THE SAME letters but in a different order. The four words you come up with will rhyme with one another. 
 
ONSET 
NEWS 
WRONG 
HORNET
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB BANKS!  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

      

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