Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, July 24, 2014.   

 
LIFE EXPLAINED……… 
 
On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I’ll give back the other forty.” And God agreed.

On the second day God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.” So God agreed.

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?” And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I’ll give you twenty years.”

Man said, “What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You’ve got a deal.”

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“I just saw that minor league baseball players have filed a class-action lawsuit to demand better pay – as opposed to the OTHER way they could get better pay: being better at baseball.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The Orange County Fair in California has started selling bacon-wrapped churros, fried in bacon fat and filled with a half shot of Jack Daniels. I hear they are simply to die of.” -Seth Meyers
“A major wildfire in northern California is now being blamed on marijuana farmers. Everyone in the region’s really angry about it – unless they’re downwind, then they’re totally cool.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted. 

When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, “Daddy, where’s Mommy?”  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  Person 1: “Prison.” Person 2: “Albuquerque. See, I can do it, too. Snorkel.”
 
Answer: National Treasure! This 2004 film is probably one of the more well-known movies in this quiz. It stars Nicolas Cage as Ben Gates, who is trying to find the greatest treasure known to man, along with the help of his assistant, Riley Poole (Justin Bartha). Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger), a National Archives archivist, joins in when Ian Howe (Sean Bean) attempts to steal the Declaration of Independence (of course, so does Ben).  This quote is said by Shaw (David Dayan Fisher) (Person 1), one of Ian’s henchmen, as a seemingly random possible answer to the riddle posed on a meerschaum pipe found on a ship in the Arctic during the hunt for the treasure. Riley (Person 2) joins in with his own disconnected series of words, just to prove that he “can do it, too.” 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? “You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog? Oh, that’s bad even for you.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I have no mind or a soul. 
I’ve been eternally attached since man’s dawn. 
My kind disappear on and off, 
to everyone I accompany them to their death, 
and buried with them, then I hide away when the casket shuts. 
 
Answer: A shadow 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.
 
1. eng___, f___, mar___
2. c___, car___, s___
3. ag___, g___, h___
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji

      

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