WELCOME to Wednesday, July 9, 2014.
Ponderings for Today!
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
You may delay, but time will not.
There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
To be interested solely in technique would be a very superficial thing to me.
The Amen of nature is always a flower.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a last request?” To which the man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?” “Certainly,” replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?”
“Please,” said the condemned man, “kill me first.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘I transferred from Los Angeles, your school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort.’
Answer: Bring It On! A excellent movie about cheerleading… This quote is said when Missy is having her tryout.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘Well color me happy.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Three brothers share a family sport:
A non-stop marathon
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother’s tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race
“He’s young in years, we let him run,”
The other brothers say
“‘Cause though he’s surely number one,
He’s second, in a way.”
Answer: The hands on a clock (hour, minute, and second).
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. GRAND – _________ – OUT
2. QUARTER – ___________ – MIND
3. HAIR – _______________ – FIRE
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com.