Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Thursday, June 26, 2014.    

Marriage Advice…

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)

 

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)

 

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’. 

I said, ‘Where’s the car?’  She said, ‘In the lake.’ (Henny Youngman)

 

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)

 

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. 

They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)

 

Irrelevant Facts………..

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

Sherlock Holmes never said ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’.

The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. Not to mention the other drawback to passing gas in such a confined space………………

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

 

The Two Ushers

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. 

Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. ‘You’re not 

supposed to talk out loud in church.’  ‘Why? Who’s going to stop me?’ Joel asked. 

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, ‘See those two men standing by the door? 

They’re hushers.’

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and 

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Depend upon yourself. Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body – by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.

Grantland Rice

What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives?

E. M. Forster

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living,

an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.

Thomas S. Monson

We are not what we seem. We are more than what we seem. The actor knows that. And because the actor knows that hidden inside himself there’s a wizard and a king, he also knows that when he’s playing himself in his daily life, he’s playing a part, he’s performing, just as he’s performing when he plays a part on stage.

Wallace Shawn

Memorial Day this year is especially important as we are reminded almost daily of the great sacrifices that the men and women of the Armed Services make to defend our way of life.

Robin Hayes

Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world.

Annie Lennox

Our daily decisions and habits have a huge impact upon both our levels of happiness and success.

Shawn Achor

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

 

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, ‘Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?’

 

The third fellow says, ‘I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.’

 

The first two guys were amazed. ‘What happened then?’ they asked.

 

She said, ‘Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.’

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘What are you doing?’  ‘Losing.’ 

  

Answer:  A Knight’s Tale! The quote is said by Roland and Will. He is trying to prove his love to Jocelyn.

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from???  ‘Shall we say at the stroke of midnight, pun not intended.’

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you pick the god from the list provided that will complete this group?

Zeus, Hephaestus, Gaea, ?

Choose from: Dionysus, Athena, Hermes, Poseidon, Aphrodite 

 

Answer:  Poseidon finishes the group. These Greek gods were associated with the four elements 

(air, fire, earth and water, respectively).

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each answer to the clue comprises six (6) letters. Each 6-letter word differs by only one (1) letter, which I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided. The order of the letters do not change.

 

Example:

 

Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify

 

Answer:

 

E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E

 

1. Pliant _ _ _ _ _ E / _ _ _ _ _ Y Stash

 

2. Inundate _ _ _ _ G _ / _ _ _ _ X _ Elegant

 

3. Expenditure P _ _ _ _ _ / L _ _ _ _ _ Spread

 

4. Chevron _ _ _ _ P _ / _ _ _ _ K _ Hit

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT SOLVING JOB BANKS! 

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com.