WELCOME to Wednesday, June 25, 2014.
I Don’t Want To Be A Doctor For The Following Reasons………
If I were a pathologist I’d be in a dead end job.
If I were a biologist I’d be in jeans all the time.
Anesthesiology would put me to sleep.
Cell specialists are too cultured for my taste.
I can’t stand podiatry.
I can’t see myself as an ophthalmologist.
I’m too old to be a gerontologist.
I would have to be crazy to become a psychiatrist.
I’m told pediatrics is child’s play.
I haven’t got the heart to be a cardiologist.
And they’d see right through me if I went into radiology.
And I really couldn’t face it if I were a dermatologist.
I’m not cut out to be a surgeon.
If I weren’t such a baby, I’d become a gynecologist.
It’s been drilled into me that I should be a dentist.
I’d rather be a plumber than a urologist.
If I were a proctologist I’d always be behind in my career.
I haven’t got the spine to be a chiropractor.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
Sir William Osler
I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they’re in August.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian.
He can’t ask his patients what is the matter-he’s got to just know. Will Rogers
A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’. Tommy Cooper
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A doctor of psychiatry is doing his normal morning rounds at the hospital when he enters the ward.
He finds Arnold sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Meanwhile Mark is hanging from the ceiling by his feet.
The consultant asks Arnold what he’s doing. Arnold smiles and answers, ‘Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?’
The consultant nods and continues talking to Arnold and enquires what Mark is doing on the ceiling. Arnold looks up and murmurs, ‘Oh, he’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.’
The consultant looks up and notices that Mark’s face is turning red and blue.
The consultant remonstrates with Arnold and says, ‘If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself.’
Arnold replies with a sigh, ‘What? And work in the dark.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘I don’t need therapy.’
Answer: Good Will Hunting! Excellent screenplay written by 2 college kids for an assignment. (Matt Damon and Ben Affleck) The quote is said by Will after being being ‘hypnotized’ by the one therapist.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Losing.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. STEP – __________ – PROOF
2. FIRE – __________ – BOAT
3. PICK – __________ – KNIFE
Answer: 1. STEP – CHILD – PROOF
2. FIRE – HOUSE – BOAT
3. PICK – POCKET – KNIFE
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you pick the god from the list provided that will complete this group?
Zeus, Hephaestus, Gaea, ?
Choose from: Dionysus, Athena, Hermes, Poseidon, Aphrodite
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT SOLVING JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com.