Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, June 24, 2014.     

 
Out of the Mouth of Babes…………..
Cream loses its magic
Little Michael watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.’ Why do you do that, Mummy?’ he asked
‘To make myself beautiful’, said his mother who then began removing the cream with a tissue
‘What’s the matter?’ asked little Michael, ‘Giving up?’
Charity Begins at Church
After the church service, seven year old Brian said to the preacher: ‘When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.’
‘Well, thank you’, the preacher replied, ‘but why?’
‘Because my daddy says that you’re one of the poorest preachers We’ve ever had.’
The Chase
Nicola, eight years old, told her parents that David Parsons had kissed her after lessons. ‘How did that happen?’ asked her mother.’ It wasn’t easy, ‘admitted the young lady, ‘but three girls helped me catch him.’
Repeat after Me
Mrs Johnson invited some people over for supper. At the table, she turned to their seven year old daughter Martha and said, ‘Would you like to say the blessing?’
‘I wouldn’t know what to say, ‘Martha replied.’ Just say what you hear Mummy say, ‘Mrs Johnson answered.
Martha bowed her head and said, ‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’
Fig Leaves
Bobby, nine, opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.  ‘Hey, Mum, look what I’ve found!’ Bobby called out.’ What have you got there, dear?’ his mother asked. Astonishment written all over his face, he answered: ‘I think it’s Adam’s suit!’
Road HogOut of Mouth of Babes
One day I was driving with my five year old daughter Alice and I honked my car horn by mistake.
Alice turned and looked at me for an explanation.
I said, ‘I did that by accident’.
Alice replied, ‘I know that, Daddy’.
I replied, ‘How did you know?’
She said, ‘Because you didn’t say ‘IDIOT’ afterwards’
One Way to Explain the Word ‘Marriage’ to a Child
Claire was a typical three year old: pretty, friendly, cute, inquisitive, and bright as a sixpence. However, one day, Claire showed some difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage. Robert, her father, thought the best way to teach her was to show her his wedding photo album believing that visual images would help Claire’s understanding.
One page after another, he pointed out photographs of the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the actual wedding ceremony, the signing of the licence and the reception afterwards.
‘Now do you understand, darling?’ Robert inquired smiling.
‘I think so,’ responded Claire dutifully, ‘and is that when mummy came to work for us?’Emoji
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and 
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.
William Morris
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.
Pablo Picasso
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness.
It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mahatma Gandhi
But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive
impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.
Elizabeth Edwards
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence 

his name had been removed from the town register.

 

He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.

 

‘I’m sorry,’ said the mayor, ‘I must have taken Leif off my census.’

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘Veto!’
  
Answer: Empire Records! This movie has it all… Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! (not to mention a great cast!) Empire Records, Open ’til Midnight! The quote was said by Gina to put a stop to Mark’s music. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???   ‘I don’t need therapy.’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
 It prods a man’s hand, and it robs him of sleep,
It makes him climb mountains and travel the deep,
It makes him go wander down deep in a cave,
and do almost anything stupid or brave,
The longer denied the greater it grows,
It makes a man learn ’till he thinks that he knows.
 
Answer: Curiosity!
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended. 
 
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
 
1. STEP – __________ – PROOF
2. FIRE – __________ – BOAT
3. PICK – __________ – KNIFE
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
  
 

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