Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, June 23, 2014.     

 
Twenty Funny Food Facts – To Give You Fodder For Thought………..
 
An Apple is made of 25% air, that is why they float.
Apples, onions, and potatoes all have the same taste? Why not try the test: Pinch your nose and take a bite out of each.
Avocado has the highest protein and oil content of all fruits.
Cabbage is 91% water.
Carrots were originally purple in color, changing in the 17th Century to orange with newer varieties.
Celery requires more calories to eat and digest than it contains.
Cherries are a member of the rose family.
Corn always has an even number of ears.
Corn makes up about 8% of the weight in a box of corn flakes.
Eggplants [aubergine] are actually fruits, and classified botanically as berries.
Honey is the only edible food for humans that will never go bad.
Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries.
Orange does not rhyme with any other word.
Peanuts are legumes [vegetables] and not a tree nut.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
Pear is a fruit that ripens from the inside out.
Strawberries are the only fruit which has its seeds on its outer skin.
American’s eat about 18 billion hot dogs a year.
Every time you lick a stamp you gain 1/10 of a calorie.
It takes around 10 litres of milk to make 1kg of cheese.
Did you know that during a lifetime the average person eats about 35 tonnes of food.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and 
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Hillary Clinton said she won’t support legalizing recreational marijuana until we see how it goes in Colorado. Officials in Colorado couldn’t respond because they were too busy swimming in a pool of money.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Crack-smoking mayor of Toronto Rob Ford is returning to Canada. He’s been in the United States in rehab. He’s going back to Canada. He traded himself for five Taliban prisoners.” –David Letterman
“Rob Ford is running for re-election. He’s got a very catchy campaign slogan. You’ll see it on bumper stickers all over Canada: ‘The crack stops here.'” –David Letterman
“President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, ‘Don’t worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.'” –David Letterman
“Over the weekend Afghanistan held its presidential election run-off. The way it works is everyone runs off, and whoever’s slowest has to be president of Afghanistan.” –Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed.  While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle biscuits wafting up the stairs.

 

Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled biscuits.

 

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

 

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the biscuit was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

 

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife….. ‘Back off!’ she said, ‘they’re for the funeral.’ 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘How does it feel to be stuffed like a turkey?’  
  
Answer: Sideout! This movie has some the the best pro volleyball players in the country in it. Sinjin Smith, Randy Stoklos, Steve Timmons, and Ricci Luyties all have played pro beach volleyball and have all played for their country on Team USA. Sinjin Smith is the true King of the Beach. The quote was said by Wiley Hunter at the beginning of the King of the Beach Tourney. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Veto!’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “__, __, and __”. Number 7 is in the form “___, ___, or ___”.
 
Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”
 
1. Palm, Pool, Protected
2. Deer, Chose, Goat
3. Life, Stork, Prune
4. Bomb, Click, Scary
5. Pup, Cup, Convey
6. Smell, Took, Sandal
7. Spin, Clues, Law  
 
Answer:  1. Calm, Cool, and Collected
2. Ear, Nose, and Throat
3. Knife, Fork, and Spoon
4. Tom, Dick, and Harry
5. Up, Up, and Away
6. Bell, Book, and Candle
7. Win, Lose, or Draw
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
It prods a man’s hand, and it robs him of sleep,
It makes him climb mountains and travel the deep,
It makes him go wander down deep in a cave,
and do almost anything stupid or brave,
The longer denied the greater it grows,
It makes a man learn ’till he thinks that he knows.
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS ANDREA L BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE SOLVING JOB LADIES! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
  

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