WELCOME to Friday, June 13, 2014.
Fathers Day Jokes…..
Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where’s popcorn?
Q: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice? A: a POPsicle!
Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: How do you scare a divorced dad? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
Q: Why are Fathers like parking spaces? A: The good ones are already taken!
Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don’t have it. Father: Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it.
He wants to scare his parents.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.
Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown.
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Fathers Day weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A Whole Foods store in New York will start offering customers cocktails while they shop. It’s part of Whole Foods’ new slogan, ‘You’d have to be drunk to pay these prices.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A guy in New York is selling the world’s largest video game collection, which includes 11,000 games. He doesn’t really want to sell it, but he needs some way to pay for the divorce.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The Canadian police are hunting for three inmates who escaped from prison in Quebec using a helicopter. How do you sneak a helicopter into prison? ‘Are you here to see someone? What do you got there? Is that a helicopter in your pants?'” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An old father living alone in the country wanted to plant his pepper garden, but the ground was too hard and he was too old to do the work. His only son who use to help him was in prison for robbing a bank. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation: “Dear Jake, I’ve been very depressed lately because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my peppers this year. You know how much your mother loved planting peppers this time of year, but I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would have been over. I know you would have been happy to dig the plot for me.” Love, Dad”
A few days later he received a letter from his son: “Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden! That’s where I buried the THINGS!” Love, Jake At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area looking for the THINGS. They apologized to the old man after not finding anything and left. The next day the old man received another letter from his son. “Dear Dad, Happy Fathers Day! Go ahead and plant your peppers now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.” Love, Jake
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘I don’t think you want the word ‘pit’ on a wedding invitation, George.’
Answer: Father of the Bride! Grade-school aged Matty, to his slightly deranged father.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What do these six words have in common?
BONUS: What’s so special about the word ANGSTS?
Answer: All of these contain a string of five consecutive consonants uninterrupted by vowels or spaces.
BONUS: ANGSTS is the shortest word in the English language with five consecutive consonants.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In Handland the currency is fingers. What does the cost of the following sale item represent?
Normal price: 19 fingers
Sale price: 14 fingers
FRIDAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com.