Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Mondays

WELCOME to Monday, June 9, 2014.    

 
ID-10-TS
 
Failed Robbery – Can You Believe It!
A robbery at a school in Providencia, Chile was foiled when the pupils laughed at the perpetrator of the crime reports the newspaper Las Ultimas Noticias. The teachers, pupils and parents had been watching the rehearsal of a play which began with the words, ‘This is a robbery’. The criminal used these words and the audience collapsed in fits of laughter. So taken aback, the robber snatched the registration money and fled from the school into the arms of the police who were on their way having been alerted to the robbery.
 
Funny Bank Robbery  – Candidate for Loser of the Year?
A man attempted to rob a Bank of America located in San Francisco. He walked into the branch and wrote, ‘this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag’.  While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest tool in the box, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
 
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK,’ and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America.
 
A Telling Bank Note
In Bowie, Maryland USA, a robber entered a bank and gave a teller a note demanding cash. After his demand was honoured, he fled. Upon returning home, he was amazed to find the police waiting for him.  It appears he had written the note on the back of his bank deposit slip.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a
cabinet meeting.  Ronald Reagan
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘have you got anything for wind?’
So he gave me a kite.  Tommy Cooper
If you look like your passport picture, you probably needed the weekend trip.
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one. Spike Milligan
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

First thing one Monday morning, a robber broke into the bank, and pointed his guns at the cashier said,

‘Give me all your money, or you’ll be GEOGRAPHY!’

Funny stories, jokes about gunmen and holdups

The cashier laughed and said, ‘You mean to say ‘HISTORY.’

The robber answered, ‘Don’t change the subject.’ 

 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘I wanted her to die. And maybe I even wanted Samuel to die.’ 
  
Answer:  Legends of the Fall! Susanna to Tristan, about his wife, and her fiance.
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘Here. It’s all right here in my noodle. The rest is just scribbling – scribbling and bibblingbibbling and scribbling.’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser your job is to try and discover a shorter word within the given word that relates to the theme. The word must be an extension of the ‘theme’ word. The letters of the hidden word are NOT jumbled.
Example:
Theme: NIGHT______
Sneaky = SKY (NIGHT SKY)
Theme: DAY _______
1. Jacob = ? (DAY _______)
2. Clapboard = ? (DAY _______)
3. Champagne = ? (DAY _______)
4. Orange = ? (DAY _______) 
 
Answer:  1. Jacob = JOB (DAY JOB)
2. Clapboard = LABOR (DAY LABOR)
3. Champagne = CAMP (DAY CAMP)
4. Orange = ONE (DAY ONE)
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I beam, I shine, I sparkle white
I’ll brighten the gloom with my light
I’ll mystify and enchant all
I’ll bring out the best in you all
Goofy, bucked, green or gold
Young and charming, wise and old
Sly, cunning, empty some times
Mirthful, uplifting, within the lines
A fleeting glimpse or prolonged show
I’m sometimes sad, sometimes mean
Sometimes I’ll say more than you know
Or betray what you think you’ve seen
Now, if you know me, tell me so
You have me too, you know!
 
 
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
 

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