Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday June 3, 2014.    

 
A Woman’s Thoughts on Life!
1.Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
2. I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
3. If I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
4. My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
5. I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it.
6. This isn’t clutter, these are my antiques!
7. If you don’t like my attitude, call 1-800-Who Cares.
8. Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
9. “Genuine Antique Person,” Been there, done that, can’t remember!
10. Our policy is to always blame the computer.
11. I’m not aging, I just need re-potting.
12. Take my advice, I’m not using it!
13. Okay! I love you! Now can we eat?
14. You know you’re getting old when you stop to think and forget to start again.
15. Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
16. I love to give homemade gifts … umm, which one of the kids would you like?
17. I have a million dollar figure — but it’s all loose change!
18. By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
19. This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
20. Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs. And that’s just selling lava lamps at Spencer’s Gifts.” –Jimmy Fallon
 
“The organizing committee for the 2016 Olympics in Rio just announced that 38 percent of the venues are completed. When asked if they’d be done in time for the Summer Games, Rio said, ‘Wait – SUMMER games?'” –Jimmy Fallon
 
“A woman got a DUI while driving a car that belongs to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. So, I’m starting to think maybe it’s the car that has the problem.” –Jimmy Fallon
 
“Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s car was involved in a DUI. Somehow a woman named LeAnne McRobb wound up in his car. You know what a McRobb is? It’s half Rob Ford, half McRib.” –Jimmy Kimmel
 
“This Rob Ford is something else. His car gets pulled over for DUI even when he’s not in it. It’s over. The machines have won. I mean, for God’s sake, Rob Ford’s Cadillac Escalade is drunk.” –Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A woman is in an accident while she’s pregnant. While in a comma she has twins (a boy & a girl). When she woke up she asked the doctor were her baby was. 
 
The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them. She replied,”My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl?” “Denise”, replied the doctor. That’s not so bad.”What about the boy”, she finally asked. “Denephew” 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘What’s that, an earthquake?’  ‘Not even a 4-pointer. Go back to sleep.’
  
Answer:  Independence Day!
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘I’m sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you have some sort of training program. I mean, it seems unfair to assume I won’t be able to learn.’
 
TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING MONDAY’S TRIVIA QUESTION OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.
 
Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)
 
1. s____ing (earth)
2. si____lk (felt reverent)
3. cam____e (chauffeur driven car)
4. s____way (bass; extreme)
 
Answer: 1. striding (DIRT – s_TRID_ing)

2. sidewalk (AWED – si_DEWA_lk)
3. camomile (LIMO – cam_OMIL_e)

4. speedway (DEEP – s_PEED_way)  
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
There are 10 lit candles on a table. A strong breeze comes and extinguishes 2 of the candles. When you come back later, you see that 1 more has been blown out.To make sure no more flames go out, you shut the window. Assuming the wind doesn’t extinguish any more candles and you don’t relight the extinguished candles, how many candles do you have left in the end?
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS. SUPER SOLVING JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji  
 
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
 

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