New Words for the Next Century……
ASSMOSIS – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss
rather than working hard.
FLIGHT RISK – Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD JOB – A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE -The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
UNINSTALLED – Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: “You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance.” *(Syn: decruitment.)
VULCAN NERVE PINCH -The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm re-boot for Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS – The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, “We each owe $8, but all anybody’s got are yuppie food stamps.”
SALMON DAY -The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) – Used among microserfs to describe ill- advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious
CLM. ADMINISPHERE -The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
MOUSE POTATO – The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING – When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
SITCOMs – (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE – A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY – A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT – An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
ALPHA GEEK – The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
EGO SURFING: Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one’s own name.