Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Wednesday May 21, 2014.    

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her. 
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. 
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked: “What’s on the TV?” I said: “Dust!” 
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. 
Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. 
Why do men die before their wives? They want to. 
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks. 
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said: 
“I haven’t eaten anything in four days.” She looked at him and said: 
“God, I wish I had your will power.” 
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?: 
Two mothers-in-law. 
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of 
Africa a man doesn’t know his wife 
until he marries her? Dad: 
That happens in every country, son. 
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classified: “Wife Wanted”. 
Next day he received a hundred letters. 
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” 
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. 
First guy: “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine is still alive.” 
How do men define marriage?: An expensive way 
to get laundry done for free. 
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go 
through life thinking they had no faults at all. 
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided 
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 
Then there was a man who said: “I never knew what real happiness was until 
I got married; and then it was too late.” 
A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” 
And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
“Independent film director Lars von Trier is writing a horror movie set in Detroit.
But then again, so is history.” -Seth Meyers
“A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000 but only took $20,000. 
Police are searching for a man with simple dreams.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new report found that the average life expectancy for women in the U.S. is 81, 
while the average life expectancy for men is 76. Or as both husbands and 
wives put it, ‘Good.'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite “adult” restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old’s antics and pounded the table.  Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, “If you don’t start behaving, you’ll never eat out with us again!”  The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. “Look dear,” he said. “Quality time!”  
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘I’m gonna…I’m gonna…I’m gonna…Go!’
Answer: The Whole Nine Yards! This quote is said by Oz as he is leaving Jimmy’s house.  
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘Yea, that’s even better than the leopard suit!’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.
1. ankle, puppet, wind, away
2. draft, hall, belly, root
3. alphabet, bowl, spoon, kitchen
4. upright, wire, grand, tuner 
Answer:  1. ankle SOCK, SOCK puppet, wind SOCK, SOCK away
2. draft BEER, BEER hall, BEER belly, root BEER
3. alphabet SOUP, SOUP bowl, SOUP spoon, SOUP kitchen
4. upright PIANO, PIANO wire, grand PIANO, PIANO tuner
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I can be quick and then I’m deadly,
I am a rock, shell and bone medley.
If I was made into a man, I’d make people dream,
I gather in my millions by ocean, sea and stream.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at LINKS2 CHECK OUT:,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji    


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