Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

chicken-died-fighting

WELCOME to Tuesday May 20, 2014.    

  
DEATH AND TAXES…..
Ambition in America is still rewarded . . . with high taxes. 
America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer. 
Americans are now in a daze from intaxication. 
There was a time when $1000.00 was the down-payment on a car; now it’s the sales tax. 
If my business gets much worse, I won’t have to lie on my next tax return. 
Drive carefully. Uncle Sam needs every taxpayer he can get. 
Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing. 
There is no child so bad that he/she can’t be used as an income tax deduction. 
Congress does some strange things. it puts a high tax on liquor and then raises the other taxes that drive people to drink. 
The attitude of Congress toward hidden taxes is not to do away with them, but to hide them better. 
Congress has the unsolved problem of how to get the people to pay taxes they can’t afford for services they don’t need. 
Every year around April 15 Americans have a rendezvous with debt. 
The rich and the poor are alike. They both complain about taxes. 
A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until income tax time. 
Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole. 
Nothing makes a person more modest about their income than to fill out a tax form. 
I hate junk mail . . .and that includes the tax forms they send me. 
Income tax is Uncle Sam’s version of “Truth or Consequences.” 
An income-tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt. 
About the time a man is cured of swearing, another income tax is due. 
Nothing has done more to stimulate the writing of fiction than the itemized deduction section of the income-tax forms.  
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“New research suggests that people who are more ambitious will live longer. While people who are less ambitious will live longer with their parents.” -Seth Meyers
“A man in New York was arrested for punching another guy at a karaoke bar because he didn’t like his singing. The man was charged with two counts of, ‘doing what everyone else wanted to do.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“In a survey of 35 cities, Los Angeles ranked second-to-last in intelligence. Residents of L.A. were outraged after the report was slowly explained to them.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee.
 
“I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put AMAP down for required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does it mean?”
 
The applicant replied, “As Much as Possible!” 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘…how’s your wife and my kids?”
  
Answer:  Major League! Talk about great one liners, this movie has them all! This quote is said 
by a player to Jake Taylor as he comes up to hit. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘I’m gonna…I’m gonna…I’m gonna…Go!’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
 
3 F in N I C
 
Answer: 3 Flavors in Neapolitan Ice Cream
 
They are: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry, hence the hint. To be more specific, Neapolitan ice cream is a block of ice cream divided into the three distinct flavors and originated in Naples, Italy.
 
The title (I Scream) is a homophone of Ice Cream.  
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
Example:
1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.
1. ankle, puppet, wind, away
2. draft, hall, belly, root
3. alphabet, bowl, spoon, kitchen
4. upright, wire, grand, tuner

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji   

 

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