Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday May 13, 2014.    

 
Hotel Translations………. 
Old world charm   (No bath)
Tropical                  ( Rainy)
Majestic setting     (A long way from town)
Options galore      ( Nothing is included in the itinerary)
Secluded hideaway  (Impossible to find or get to)
Pre-registered rooms (Already occupied)
Knowledgeable trip hosts ( They’ve flown in an airplane before)
No extra fees         (No extras)
Nominal fee           (Outrageous charge)
Standard                (Sub-standard)
Deluxe                    (Standard)
Superior                 (One free shower cap)
Cozy                       (Small)
All the amenities   (Two free shower caps)
Plush                      (Top and bottom sheets)
Gentle breezes ……………………………. Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ………………………………. No air conditioning
Picturesque ………………………………… Theme park nearby
Open bar ……………………………………. Free ice cubes
Concierge ………………………………… Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast ………………… Free muffin
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. 
Fred Allen 
 
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I’d been up all 
night inventing the Camcorder. Al Gore 
 
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 
Oscar Wilde 
 
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. 
Oscar Wilde 
 
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that 
when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, “Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?” The lady said, “My phone doesn’t have an eleven.” (Actually a true story)  
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘I don’t need therapy.’
  
Answer:  Good Will Hunting! Excellent screenplay written by 2 college kids for an assignment. (Matt Damon and Ben Affleck) The quote is said by Will after being being ‘hypnotized’ by the one therapist. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Losing.’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
 I represent love.
I’m the daughter of Heaven and Sea.
You may find me in the sky above,
And many envy my beauty.
 
My love belongs to fire,
But if I said I was true to him
I would be a liar,
But I have no shame for my whims. 
 
My son taught many to love.
To me the only earthly items of worth
Are myrtle, sparrow, swan, and dove.
And no one remembers my birth.
 
Answer: The goddess Venus.
 
Line 1: She represents love, fertility, and beauty. 
2: She is known as the daughter of Heaven and Sea. 
3: Venus is also a Planet.
4: Same as line 1.
6-8: She was married to Vulcan the God of fire, but had affairs with many others.
9: Her son was Cupid.
10-11: Those were known to be sacred to her.
12: There are 2 theories of her birth.  
  
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Diagramless is a special form of crossword puzzle. It is the same, just you have no idea where the black squares are, you have to use the answers to the clues and the numbers of them to figure that out.
 
Can you figure this diagramless out?
 
It is just a small, 4×4 grid, and there are two black squares.
 
Across Clues:
 
1. Water Sport
5. Best Grade
6. __ top of; above
7. Place of relaxation
9. Water Level
 
Down Clues:
 
1. Opposite of future
2. Oxygen
3. Fill by putting on
4. Opposite of off
8. 3.14
10. Vowel between C and H
  

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji   
 

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