1. “I’M GOING FISHING” Translation: I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and sit in a
boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
2. “IT’S A GUY THING” Translation: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and
you have no chance at all of making it logical.
3. “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Translation: Why isn’t it already on the table?
4. “UH HUH”, SURE”, or, “YES, DEAR” Translation: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
5. “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” Translation: I have no idea how it works.
6. “I WAS LISTENING TO YOU, IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND” Translation: I was wondering
if that blonde over there has a boyfriend.
7. “TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD” Translation: I can’t hear the game
over the vacuum cleaner.
8. “THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR” Translation: Are you still talking?
9. “YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS” Translation: I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
10. “I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES” Translation: The girl selling them was real cute.
11. “OH, DON’T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL” Translation: I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.
12. “HEY. I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING” Translation: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
13. “I CAN’T FIND IT” Translation: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.
14. “WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?” Translation: What did you catch me at?
15. “I HEARD YOU” Translation: I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and I am hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t have to spend the next three days yelling at me.
16. “YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE” Translation: I am used to the way you yell at me
and realize it could be much worse.
17. “YOU LOOK TERRIFIC” Translation: Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.
18. “I’M NOT LOST, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE” Translation: No one will ever see us alive again. By albert W.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do,