1- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
2- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy .
3- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
4- I intend to live forever; so far, so good
5- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
6- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
7- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
8- My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
9- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
10- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
11- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
12- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
13- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
14- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
15- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
16- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
17- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
18- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
19 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,