Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

3624401b0699180c3f4b27e6d671abfb

WELCOME to Friday April 25, 2014.  

Physics 101
 
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
 
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
 
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
 
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
 
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
 
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
 
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
 
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
 
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
 
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 
 
10 cards: 1 decacards
 
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
 
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
 
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
 
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
 
10 rations: 1 decoration
 
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
 
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A new report claims that posing with a dog in your online dating profile makes you more desirable – and posing with a cat means you’re going to die alone.” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a new survey, being a mathematician is the best job in America. So congratulations, nerds.” -Craig Ferguson
“A new survey found that 81 percent of parents admit to stealing Easter candy from their children. While the other 19 percent of parents don’t think it counts as stealing if you bought the candy in the first place.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Realizing that I’d put on a pound or two, I lamented to my husband, “I’m fat.”
And right on cue he said what all good husbands must: “No you’re not!” To support his position, he added, “Just take a look at some of the other women we know, and you’ll see that you are not fat.”
But our daughter, a high schooler, saw through it: “Mom, he’s grading you on the curve!” 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from??? “Nervous?”  “Yes.”  “First time?”  “No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.”  
  
Answer:  Airplane!  Striker to the old lady on the plane. 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???   “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Mr. Black, Mr. Gray, and Mr. White are fighting in a truel. They each get a gun and take turns shooting at each other until only one person is left. Mr. Black, who hits his shot 1/3 of the time, gets to shoot first. Mr. Gray, who hits his shot 2/3 of the time, gets to shoot next, assuming he is still alive. Mr. White, who hits his shot all the time, shoots next, assuming he is also alive. The cycle repeats. If you are Mr. Black, where should you shoot first for the highest chance of survival? 
 
Answer: He should shoot at the ground.
 
If Mr. Black shoots the ground, it is Mr. Gray’s turn. Mr. Gray would rather shoot at Mr. White than Mr. Black, because he is better. If Mr. Gray kills Mr. White, it is just Mr. Black and Mr. Gray left, giving Mr. Black a fair chance of winning. If Mr. Gray does not kill Mr. White, it is Mr. White’s turn. He would rather shoot at Mr. Gray and will definitely kill him. Even though it is now Mr. Black against Mr. White, Mr. Black has a better chance of winning than before. 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common holiday. (The first holiday is only one word long. The second and third are two words long.)
 
1. (Right of north ) (she) 
 
2. (Hotel) D (ink stick) (boogie) (24 hours)
 
3. (Work) (24 hours)
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji   

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s