Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday April 23, 2014.  

Profound Thoughts………

 
1) Before criticizing people, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
 
2) If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go, because, man, they’re gone.
 
3) If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
 
4) To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of
something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?” You can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”
 
5) The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
 
6) If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I’d glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. “Wait a minute! I thought we won!”
 
7) If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.
 
8) Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.
 
9) To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
 
10) I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
 
11) Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that itself. MANKIND. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words “mank” and “ind.” What do these words mean? It’s a mystery and so is mankind.
 
12) If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.
 
13) It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there rocking back and forth wanting that money.
 
14) I’d like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he’s flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that’s a documentary.
 
15) As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“I have a Y chromosome that makes me ask, Why get married? But I wouldn’t want to put down marriage as a whole – which it is.” –Kevin Hench
“People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn’t look any better.” –Margot Black
“Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation.” –Ogden Nash 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.
When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said. “It’s my old Plymouth!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???   “No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die.”
  
Answer:  Goldfinger! Auric Goldfinger, as James is threatened by the laser.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? “I’m not a Roman … I’m a Red Sea pedestrian.”
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Where should you go to find the meaning of life?  
 
Answer: You should go to a dictionary! The meaning of “life” can be found in a dictionary.
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.
1. Eat – Fact
2. Fist – Spam
3. Ham – Smock
4. Tilde – Food
5. Sale – Cranking
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

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