Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

baby-pear-photomanipulation

WELCOME to Friday April 18, 2014.  

The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The “How Do I Look” Question
“That’s a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago.”
“I ain’t seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town.”
“Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind.”
“Ssshhh, the games on right now..go look in the mirror, that’s what its there for!!”
“Oh man, I’m gonna lose my lunch.”
“Like the girl I was with yesterday.”
“Like someone in dire need for some liposuction.”
“Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend.”
“How can I put this…MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Easter weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A woman in Las Vegas was arrested after she threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton while Hillary was giving a speech. The woman was tackled, cuffed, and thrown into a police car. Then the cops said, ‘Normally, WE do that, Hillary, but thank you for the help.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“This year’s Easter Sunday happens to fall on the same day as the marijuana holiday, 4/20. Which means no matter what your religion, this Sunday you’re probably going to see a giant bunny.” –Conan O’Brien
“Every year, the IRS collects over $950 billion in taxes. There’s more money coming at them than a stripper at Charlie Sheen’s house.” –Craig Ferguson
“Let’s play ‘How busy do accountants get on tax day’? They’re busier than drug dealers at Coachella. Busier than someone doing sign language for Regis Philbin. Busier than Justin Bieber’s lawyer. Busier than gossip blogs when a late-night show’s host retires.” –Craig Ferguson  
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “What is the opposite of joy?”
“Sadness,” said the student.
And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
“Elation,” said she.
“And you sir,” he said to the young man from Texas, “how about the opposite of woe?”
The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  “No. Try not. Do or do not.”
  
Answer:  The Empire Strikes Back! Yoda to Luke. There is no try.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  “The vessel with the pestle, has the potion with the lotion.”
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
 I am tied up at least once a day
And forced to carry ten nails.
I work diligently without any pay
And follow your many trails.
 
I do not smell very well
But at least I have many eyes.
I have two tongues but never yell
And I’ll bet you know my size.
 
What am I?
 
ANSWER:  Your shoes!
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each word differs by only one (1) letter, which I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided. The order of the letters does not change.
Example:
Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify
Answer:
E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E
1. specialist _ _ _ E _ _ / _ _ _ O _ _ ship
2. hull _ _ L _ _ / _ _ N _ _ indulgence
3. scorch S _ _ _ _ / T _ _ _ _ slight colouration
4. soft spread _ U _ _ _ _ / _ I _ _ _ _ grievous
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

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