Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Wednesday April 16, 2014.  

Funny Metaphors…………………. 
The toddlers looked at each other as if they had just been told their mutual funds had taken a complete nosedive.
She was a couch potato in the gravy boat of life, flopping dejectedly on the sofa.
It will take a big tractor to plow the fertile fields of his mind.
Suddenly, she was pinned by the spotlight, a struggling fish caught in a spider’s web
All at once he was alone in this noisy hive with no place to roost.
The beautiful child was the center of attention, with his golden curls and tuna fish complexion.
There is no difference between a forced bachelor and an involuntarily herbivorous lion.
Do you have to ape Peter Pan in every aspect of your life?
A colony of E.coli growing on room temperature Canadian beef could not match their affection for each other.
Standing at the corner cubicle, suddenly the two of them heard a growing sound of barely hushed giggles. At the root of it was the little girl who called them the twin towers of the office.
Her face was a perfect oval with two sides of a circle gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
Underpants in a dryer and thoughts in his head displayed the same degree of making and breaking alliances.
The revelation of infidelity in a 30 years marriage and surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM can be equally shocking.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a steel trap mind, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
Her eyes were limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 “Next week Google will give the public the chance to buy its $1,500 Google Glass. Finally ending the stereotype that people who wear glasses are smart.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The Coachella Music Festival begins this weekend. It’s held every year in the California desert. It’s a whole weekend of peace, love, and $12 bottles of water.” -Craig Ferguson
“The archbishop of Atlanta is being forced to sell a $2.2 million mansion he bought using church funds. The bishop said he wanted the extra space because he was tired of only moving diagonally.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
 After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.
“Terry,” she said, “does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?”
I thought for a moment, then said, “If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  “They’re back.” 
Answer: Poltergiest 2! Spoken by Carol Ann, after the TV people return.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???   “I see dead people.” 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What’s the rebus shown by this display below?
ANSWER: Time is on my side.   
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
An elderly pool attendant is starting to get sick of having to open the swimming pool every Monday, so he decides that the pool will remain closed on Mondays from now on. Being of reasonably limited English, he makes up a sign which he hangs from the front gate. What’s special about his sign?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at LINKS2 CHECK OUT:,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji  


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