WELCOME to Tuesday April 15, 2014.
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A math blogger says he’s figured out ‘the world’s favorite number.’ It turns out that it’s 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you’re a math blogger.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Anthony Bourdain wrote books about food. Hey, let’s play ‘Books About Food.’ There’s ‘The Ketchup on the Rye.’ ‘To Grill a Mockingbird.’ ‘The Burritos of Madison County.’ ‘Lord of the Onion Rings.’ ’50 Shades of Gravy.’ ‘Harry Pot Roast.'” -Craig Ferguson
“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?”
Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Can I help?”
He lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Oh, I see. With all the poor people in this city, who wanted only to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die and not go through with it? You make me sick!’
Answer: ‘Bringing Out The Dead’ Martin Scorcese directed Nicolas Cage in this film, also starring then wife Patricia Arquette, about a guilt-ridden, burnt out paramedic unraveling over a 72 hr. period. Based on the novel of the same title by Joe Connelly, a former paramedic.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “They’re back.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
1. Optic 2. Civet 3. Toner 4. Rosin 5. Lease
1. Painter’s stand 2. Singing voice 3. Golf clubs 4. Subject 5. Throw out
ANSWER: 1. Easel (5) 2. Tenor (3) 3. Irons (4) 4. Topic (1) 5. Evict (2)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What’s the rebus shown by this display below?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,