Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday April 10, 2014.  

Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue
 
Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 
 
1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag
 
2. You Can Change The Oil Too
 
4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug
 
5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas
 
6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness
 
7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football
 
8. Parenting – Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around
 
9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop 
 
10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
 
11. Get A Life – Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself
 
12. Balancing A Checkbook – Even You Can Get It Right
 
13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility 
 
14. You, The Whining Sex
 
15. Shopping – Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours
 
16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother 
 
17. How To Close The Garage Door
 
18. If You Don’t Want An Excuse, Don’t Demand An Explanation 
 
19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia 
 
20. Living Without Power Windows – How To Turn A Crank
 
21. Romanticism – The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation
 
22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself 
 
23. Why You Don’t Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
 
24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
 
25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
 
26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack
 
27. Female Friendship – Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
 
28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men 
 
29. Attainable Goal – Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
 
30. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste 
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“The important thing is not to stop questioning.”
–Albert Einstein
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”
–Henry Kissinger
“It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, La., my son and namesake was also serving there. His two month old son, whose name was the same as ours, was receiving medical treatments at the base hospital.
I went on sick call one morning, and as the doctor reviewed my file, he looked at me in disbelief. “Are you Curtis E. Chaffin?” he asked. When I answered yes, he told me, “It says here that you turn blue when you cry.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Vitamin, the band goes beyond straight pop, but not hard rock. We like to call it ultra-pop.’
  
Answer: ‘Bandwagon’  Bandwagon is the story of the band Circus Monkey. The members include a neurotic singer-songwriter, an outspoken drummer, a perpetually stoned guitarist and a violence-prone bassist.  
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘So, I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every time you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am as bright as the sunshine on a warm day,
I can go a long way.
I am seen on the young and the old that God made,
but I can fade.
I have only five letters in my name,
and I am painted on both the strong and the lame.
I can be as white as pearls,
or as yellow as blond curls.
I can never grow old,
or never be sold,
or turn to mold,
but I am more precious than gold.
What am I?
 
ANSWER:  A smile. A smile is as bright as the sunshine, and a smile can go a long way. A smile is seen on the young and the old people, but it can fade. The strong and the weak can both smile. I can be as white as pearls because the teeth can be white, or I can be as yellow as blond curls, because the teeth can be yellow. A smile can never be old and you can’t sell it, but it won’t get moldy either. A smile is more precious than gold.Emoji
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
The following limerick has had the last word of each line scrambled. Can you figure it out?
 
It is the unfortunate THIAB
Of the rabbit to breed like a BIRTBA.
One can say without NOUSETIQ
This leads to TECGSONINO
In the burrows that rabbits TANIIBH.
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

 

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