Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

What+A+Stupid+Person_08f872_3912489

WELCOME to Wednesday April 8, 2014.  

 
University courses for men and women
 
Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalog
 
Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.
 
1. Combatting Stupidity
 
2. You Too Can Do Housework
 
3. Resistance to Beer
 
4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
 
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)
 
6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
 
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)
 
9. Get A Life – Learn To Cook
 
10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong
 
11. Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right
 
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
 
13. You, The Weaker Sex
 
14. Reasons To Give Flowers
 
15. Garbage – Getting It To The Curb
 
16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please
 
17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat
 
18. Give Me A Break – Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies
 
19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
 
20. The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency
 
21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
 
22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
 
23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
 
24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
 
25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
 
26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
 
27. Attainable Goal – Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary
 
28. You Don’t Really Need That Porsche
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.” –Robert Orben
Recently we called a business phone number and heard the following: If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press one now. If you are calling from a rotary phone, hang up and call back from a touch-tone phone.
“You need to have a stupid girlfriend so that on a bad day you can call her. ‘Tanya, I’m having a bad day, tell me something stupid you’ve done. You caught on fire, and you tried to put it out with alcohol?'” –Ellen Cleghorne
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was,
“What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?”
Expecting to see “the D-Day invasion” as the answer, I found instead on one paper,
“Moses and the plague of frogs.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  ‘It’s embarassing. I’ve got to tell the people in my business that my best writer lives on Long Island. Writers live in Manhattan, Barry, Joey Buttafucos live on Long Island.’
  
Answer:   ‘The Brothers McMullen’  Edward Burns wrote, directed, and starred in all of the mentioned movies, except ‘The Leading Man’.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Vitamin, the band goes beyond straight pop, but not hard rock. We like to call it ultra-pop.’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Solve the 10 clues. Take each initial letter, to form a new 10 letter word.
 
1. Polite greeting
2. Opposite of begin
3. It comes from a bulb
4. Eskimo’s home
5. Another name for an axe (or ax)
6. Black Sabbath front man
7. Where a child may play
8. Large vessel for liquids
9. To change something
10. Neither left, nor wrong 
 
ANSWER: HELICOPTER
 
1. Hello
2. End
3. Light
4. Igloo
5. Chopper
6. Ozzy (Osborne)
7. Park
8. Tank
9. Edit
10. Right 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am as bright as the sunshine on a warm day,
I can go a long way.
I am seen on the young and the old that God made,
but I can fade.
I have only five letters in my name,
and I am painted on both the strong and the lame.
I can be as white as pearls,
or as yellow as blond curls.
I can never grow old,
or never be sold,
or turn to mold,
but I am more precious than gold.
What am I?
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s