Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday April 4, 2014.  

  
You Know You’re Too Stressed If…
You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin to chase you.
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
You can hear mimes.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
Things become “Very Clear.”
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand.
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
You and Reality file for divorce.
You can skip without a rope.
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe and Everything else, but can’t quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. Emoji
You can travel without moving. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“The White House says it’s surpassed its goal for people enrolled in Obamacare. It’s amazing what you can achieve when you make something mandatory and fine people if they don’t do it, and keep extending the deadline for months.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Sweden and France have developed technology that allows cars to detect the emotions of their drivers. The system uses an infrared camera to determine if you’re upset. The car will beep and flash a warning light, telling you to calm down. Nothing soothes an angry driver like a loud beeping sound and warning light.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The Dallas Public Library displays one of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence – also the only copy stained with barbecue sauce.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?” 
 
The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately. 
 
A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. “My goodness,” the flight attendant says, “I’ve never seen someone so afraid to fly.” 
 
“I’m not afraid of flying,” says the man sobbing loudly, “I’m trying to give up drinking.” 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  ‘One day I heard the sound of a woman singing.
She must not have understood that someone might hear her. I thought of mermaids…’
  
Answer:  ‘Jesus’ Son’ The line was said by Billy Crudup’s character, FH, as he walked past a Mennonite couple’s open window and heard her singing the hymn ‘Farther Along’. Crudup plays a heroine addict who meets redemption in this film, which also stars Samantha Morton and Denis Leary.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘My father was an evil abusive man…he killed my mother. She was sleeping, and then he slit his wrists. I was thirteen. I don’t talk about that much.’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Though my beauty is becoming, I can hurt you just the same.
I come in many colors.
You will always know my name.
Some love me for one reason.
Some may dislike me just as well.
More than one of any color of me will surely always sell
 
ANSWER: A rose.
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
 
1. A pig farmer’s job could be called p___ w___.
2. A dog injury could be called a ho___ wo___.
3. For racing, a mixed ho___ is wo___ than a thoroughbred.
4. I he___ your be___ has been shaved into a goatee.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR A SUPER SOLVING JOB ON WEDNESDAY! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji  
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

 

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